5 month pics, and other updates

I keep saying this, but I swear I've got the most beautiful daughter in the world. It really helps that we have an amazing photographer. I'll never be able to repay Chrissy for the pictures she's taken. She's documenting Leila growing up in a way I never could. She says she's going to try and help teach me how to use our SLR, which would be awesome since I'm going to be moving away sooner than later :/

Things have become much more complicated with Kolt's deployment than we thought, courtesy of some TDY's (trainings). But I think we've worked out most of the kinks by now and hopefully things will continue to iron out. Leila and I will be going home in April most likely during one of Kolt's trainings, then coming back to San Antonio, then going back to Idaho. LOTS of travel for a little girl, but I refuse to say goodbye to Kolt at the beginning of May. That turns a 6-7 month deployment into an 8-9 month one, NOT going to happen. He suggested this yesterday kind of casually and I immediately started crying. I can't even control it. The thought of being separated any longer than necessary just breaks my heart. It's times like that I have no clue how I'm going to survive 7 months without crying myself to sleep every night. I think the anticipation of him going might be worse than the actual deployment....

I've started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred today. A bunch of my fellow August 2010 moms have been doing it and I've wanted to get going with it for a month now. I won't lie, it was hard, but the idea of it getting easier and me getting into better shape is exhilarating! I've lost 43.5 lbs to date from my biggest at the end of my pregnancy, 5.5 lbs to go to make my pre-pregnancy weight. Once I get there, ideally I'd like to lose another 50 lbs, that would put me back to where I was in high school. I know that's a really TOUGH goal, but I figure if I don't push myself I'll never get anywhere. I've set up monthly goals to meet and I won't actually get down to that ideal weight until after Kolt has been gone for some time. I'm slowly but surely making my way there and even if I don't drop the additional 50 lbs, I think I would be happy with 30-40. I'll take some before and after pics so I can document my progress visually and not just with numbers.

I'm sure most of you reading this really could care less about my weight loss, but if I put it out there for everyone to read about, there's a certain amount of accountability there and I need to make sure I follow through with this....I'm TIRED of being over weight!