Ok, so maybe that's not entirely true, but I have issued a challenge to myself to be more mindful of my whining. I have had some reality checks the last few days that have put things into perspective for me. My husband, my incredibly amazing, selfless, heroic husband's schedule has just changed at work. Instead of 2 on 2 off, now he's 7 on, no off, no on call, grave yard shifts. Some of the other nurses just finished up their deployments and went home and so they lost some help, but the other nurses are not working half of what Kolt is, and they have day time hours. I have no clue how this happened or how long it's going to last, but at the moment it is indefinite. He's lucky to get 5 hours of sleep a night (day) because everyone else is getting ready and heading out at those times, so their super armored rocket proof doors are slamming away, thus resulting in an impossible sleeping situation. He'll be working 12 hour nights, every night, for the next 5 months. I do not even know the meaning of the word tired, and I won't complain about it, ever again.
I also have some friends with babies who are not well, those moms stay up most nights worrying about if they're sweet child will wake up or not.....I have no idea what the word tired means and am embarrassed at my rants about it. I have a healthy daughter, who plays, and laughs and hasn't had to be in the hospital.....I am so fortunate, and I take it for granted.
I'm feel so guilty at my complaining. Yes it's hard to have my husband deployed, but he'll come home, I still have him. Yes it's hard having an almost one year old wake up multiple times a night to nurse or be cuddled, but I have an almost one year old to wake up, and I know several incredible people who would give anything to have their own child. I need to be grateful for all I do have, and focus on the positive. I hate being around negative people, and I refuse to turn into one of them.
So help keep me in check. I will have bad days, as we all do, but i'm going to try and be about 95% positive, because in the grand scheme of things, I am beyond blessed.
Awww, mwah! Don't be too hard on yourself! As one of those parents with an unhealthy child, it's the other parents who have no idea how good they have it that are annoying.
ReplyDeleteBeing grateful for what you have gives you a right to complain/rant every so often!
Praying for Kolt! I've worked some tough shifts before, but what he's doing is insane!!!