How I "do it."

Since making several blog and facebook posts about my weight loss, I've been getting a whole lot of "how do you do it??" So I thought I'd put it out there for everyone to read and take it as you will.

This has been an on going process from the time Leila was born. I suppose I'll own up to my discretions and post my weight. The day I delivered Leila I was a whopping 245. I'm beyond embarrassed to admit it, but part of celebrating in my success has to be acknowledging what I allowed myself to become.

I wasn't one of those bounce right back types. I was 196 before I got pregnant, so I gained 49 pounds. I exclusively breast fed and it still didn't fall off like so many had promised it would. I left the hospital 9 pounds less than when I walked in, Leila's weight plus the extra stuff that came with her delivery is all I lost. I think I remember the second week losing 7 pounds, so that put me at 229. I remember going home to Idaho in October 2010 and weighing 220, so I lost9 more pounds in those first two months for a total of 25 from the time she was born. I honestly wasn't doing anything special, no work outs, just trying not to eat like a pig...which I still did on occasion.

After getting family pictures done and seeing for myself just how fat I still looked, I committed to myself that I was going to focus on losing weight. I weighed in at 218 on Nov 8 2010. (I know this because I kept a journal). I still wasn't doing anything dramatic, a work out video here or there, trying to make good choices with food, that's all. By Thanksgiving I had lost 5 more pounds to be 214. It wasn't until the beginning of February that I got to 199, a HUGE step for me. By Feb 17 I was 196, my pre-pregnancy weight. 6 months to lose the 50 I had gained during pregnancy, a pretty healthy rate if you ask me. I believe I was so over weight that i didn't have to do much to make it come off at that point. I was not super consistent about eating well and exercising.

The next 30 has been more of a challenge. I started Weight Watchers in March when Kolt went to a training, that got me down to the 180s, where I stayed until he left in May for training for deployment. I was very on again off again with my diet, but him being gone is always a motivator for me. The month he was at combat training I got down to 176 by Weight Watchers and some light exercise. After he came home....I gained 10 back in 3 weeks. I let myself eat whatever I wanted, figured I had 6 months after he left to lose it and I let myself go. It took me until he'd been gone 3 months before I finally realized I was running out of time and had better get my act together.

So most recently what I've done is pretty strict but straight forward.

1- I eat 6 meals a day, every day. I truly believe that is essential to keeping your metabolism going and when your'e working out very hard, the protein is essential.

2- I drink nothing but water or sugar free tea with an occasional glass of skim milk. I drink between 3-4 liters of water every day.

3- I limit my sodium intake, and have lots of fiber and protein, and limit carbs to whole grain only.

4- I work my BUTT OFF at the gym. 3-5 times a week, 1.5-2 hours. I have a personal trainer (worth every single penny) that I work out with twice a week, about 45 minutes a time. I have stepped up my cardio to 60 minutes now, with about 30-45 minutes of strength training.

5- I DO NOT CHEAT with my diet, at all, ever (currently.) No bite of this, or taste of that. No soda, candy, cookies, chips, fried food, fast food, nothing. I could not lose I could only maintain by having crap or by having days where I ate what I wanted. The longer I do it, the easier it is because I've realized it's just not worth it. It's not. Even through the holidays, I've made cookies and not had a bite, been at parties and brought my own food so I didn't have to starve or eat high calorie foods. This is what a typical day looks like for me:

B- egg whites with spinach, onions, half a slice of turkey bacon, and a banana or piece of whole wheat 45 calorie toast. Approx 150 cals (i have this breakfast every day).

S- non fat greek yogurt, various fruit flavors. 140 cals

L- a low cal frozen dinner, smart ones or lean cuisine. 300 cals or less

S- protein bar 150-210 cals

D- Hungry Girl or Weight Watcher reciepe, 400 cals or less

S- Protein Shake post work out 130 cals.

grand total- 1300 ish.

With as little weight as I have left to lose (I am currently 164, my goal is 145-155) I had to step it up. Most people scoff at the gym, but strength training and muscle toning is ESSENTIAL to losing weight and keeping it off. Proper diet is important, but I know I'll never get back to 140s without weight lifting.

It's all about planning ahead. If I know I'm going to be somewhere there won't be good food, I eat ahead of time, or bring my own frozen dinner or protein bar to eat. I ask for the nutritional menu at restaurants because you'd be shocked as to what's "healthy" and what's not. If I eat out, it's a salad with grilled chicken or a grilled chicken sandwhich, no sauce. Is it "boring" yes. So what? I'd rather eat boring food and be thin, than eat fun food and be fat.

Being over weight (for most people) is a choice. Plain and simple. I chose not to exercise, I chose to eat fatty foods, I CHOSE TO BE FAT. I did it, no one else, me. I own that and I accept that. The nice thing about that is, you can also choose to be healthy. You can choose to put in the work and change you life. YOU CAN CHOOSE.

A lot of people have told me things like 'life's too short to be a gym rat and only eat rabbit food." In my opinion, life's too short to eat like crap and hate your body and be unhealthy, and it will be even shorter if you live that way. It's all about changing your mentality with food. Don't celebrate with food, don't give in to convenience processed food, don't eat just because it's there and everyone else is! This season is especially awful for that. I can see having ONE meal, ONE day where you can relax and let go, but why does it have to be days, weeks, months of grazing? People say "after New Year's I'll start to lose weight." How many times have you said that? I've said it a million times. I was fat for 9 years, almost all of my twenties, for what? Cake? Pizza? Ice cream? Did it really make me happier? Of course not. Every time I walked into a room I wondered if people noticed me as the fat chic. I wondered if people wondered what Kolt was doing with a fatty like me. I wondered if he regretted marrying me, since I was thin when we met. Every time I ran into someone I knew in high school all I could think about was "they must be thinking 'she really let herself go.' " Because I did. I HATED myself and the way I looked. Kolt can tell anyone how I bawled every time I went shopping. How humiliated I was to shop in plus size stores because nothing at the mall fit me anymore. I did that for YEARS. What for? Why?

There will come a point where the light will go off in your head and you'll realize "It is just not worth it." And you'll put the donut down and walk away. It's a liberating moment and the first step in a long journey. It's hard and discouraging. You won't lose every week. You'll work your butt off only to see a gain sometimes. It happens, but the end goal should not be a weight, or a size, it should be a lift time of health and wellness. It's not a diet, or a fad or a phase. It's a life style change and CHOICE, and no one can make it but you.

I'm not saying that I'm a skinny minnie expert. I still want to lose 20 more pounds, my BMI just dropped into normal range today. I will have good days and bad, and I'm sure this will be a life long process for me. But I am publicly announcing today my pledge to myself to never be fat again. Nothing is better than the self confidence and amazing feeling of satisfaction I have now, and I'm damn proud of myself and hope to continue to be proud and impress myself.

If any of you have any questions, feel free to ask. I don't think of myself as a source of motivation, but apparently I am. So I'll gladly help in any way I can.