Ok, so good news. Kolt has his appointment with the allergist set for April 8th. It just happens to be a day he has off so he can go and we don't have to reschedule. Apparently getting these things set up can be quite hard so we are very fortunate to have it so quickly and on a day he can go! I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen when he meets with him, but I'm hoping we'll at least know what his recommendation to the Surgeon General will be.
Kolt left for work today so I'm sure this will be a week of more random blogs due to my boredom. Hopefully I'll have a job interview to tell you all about :)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Air Force Update
So today Sgt. Bursee got back to us and said that the immediate medical officer won't approve Kolt and he's turning it over to the Air Force Surgeon General and that they want him to see an allergist. The allergist part is good news because all they have to go off of is the ER medical records and it makes it sound much worse than it is. If Kolt can actually sit down with a specialist and explain what happens, then we hope that they'll understand it's not as dire as it sounds and put him through.
At this point we don't know when he'll go in and see the allergist but I would guess it'd be in the next month or so. Please keep your fingers crossed for us, if we can know that the USAF will pay for school for Kolt, our lives will be SO much more relaxed and easier. I'll keep you all posted as soon as we know more.
At this point we don't know when he'll go in and see the allergist but I would guess it'd be in the next month or so. Please keep your fingers crossed for us, if we can know that the USAF will pay for school for Kolt, our lives will be SO much more relaxed and easier. I'll keep you all posted as soon as we know more.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Stuck
I'm sure some of you have wondered if I've fallen off the face of the Earth. Well the answer is no, I just really haven't had anything fun or new to write about. But I've figured since it's been SO long since I've written, that maybe this situation we're stuck in is in and of itself something to write about.
So Kolt and I have decided that it really is time we change some things. Not that we don't love living with my parents, but it's so hard not having our own place. The only problem with this is there is no place to rent in Preston. We've looked in the papers, we've driven around everywhere and as far as we can see there just isn't anything. So this means we would need to buy something. We've found an absolutely amazing house in Cub River just south of town. It's practically our flippin' dream house. It's almost 5000 sq ft, 5 bed, 5 bath, mother in law apartment so it has two kitchens and two dens. It's gorgeous, at least from the pics, and it's SO stinkin' cheap it's unreal. We figure it is so under priced that it is a huge investment opportunity. We realize it may take five or ten years, but that's ok, because the return would be huge. They've come down over $150,000 in price. However, in order for us to be able to afford it, or any decent house for that matter, I need a job. I've been looking and looking for a job, and I probably could get some B.S. job that pays $7 or $8 an hour, but I didn't go to college to work at a gas station, you know? Plus it really doesn't make enough to cover what we would need anyways. I want something that I can really get into and work my heart out for. Something I can be proud to say I do. Is that so wrong?
So for now we're just stuck. We've looked at maybe moving farther north, even though we really don't want to. There are a lot of great jobs for me in the Idaho Falls area, but nothing for Kolt. I never thought I'd see the day when an RN would have a hard time finding a decent job. So what it amounts to is where there are jobs for me, there are none for Kolt and where there are jobs for Kolt there are none for me. What are we supposed to do???? For now all I know to do is look online everyday for a job, I've asked my mother-in-law for help to see if she could call in a favor on my behalf since she used to work here in the field I'm interested in, and just hope that something pans out for us.
I think we can both feel the tension of the situation we're in, not having our own things or our own place, not being able to have our cars in a garage, just the little things that we were used to that we don't have anymore. We were very independent at such a young age, and it feels like we've taken a huge step back. That combined with having no clue what our future holds at the moment is just really starting to wear us down. Kolt has submitted his petition for his health issues to the higher up medical authorities in the Air Force and we are just waiting for them to let us know if they'll accept him or not. I'm beginning to think that maybe at this point he should just sign on for three years and start into the Air Force now, then go to grad school like we had originally planned. I haven't mentioned this to him and I don't think he'll agree, but at least it gets us moving forward in our lives. I'm just so tired of being stuck, unable to move forward or back, not progressing, just hovering in this land of no opportunity. I hope to sometime soon have some good news to tell you all!
So Kolt and I have decided that it really is time we change some things. Not that we don't love living with my parents, but it's so hard not having our own place. The only problem with this is there is no place to rent in Preston. We've looked in the papers, we've driven around everywhere and as far as we can see there just isn't anything. So this means we would need to buy something. We've found an absolutely amazing house in Cub River just south of town. It's practically our flippin' dream house. It's almost 5000 sq ft, 5 bed, 5 bath, mother in law apartment so it has two kitchens and two dens. It's gorgeous, at least from the pics, and it's SO stinkin' cheap it's unreal. We figure it is so under priced that it is a huge investment opportunity. We realize it may take five or ten years, but that's ok, because the return would be huge. They've come down over $150,000 in price. However, in order for us to be able to afford it, or any decent house for that matter, I need a job. I've been looking and looking for a job, and I probably could get some B.S. job that pays $7 or $8 an hour, but I didn't go to college to work at a gas station, you know? Plus it really doesn't make enough to cover what we would need anyways. I want something that I can really get into and work my heart out for. Something I can be proud to say I do. Is that so wrong?
So for now we're just stuck. We've looked at maybe moving farther north, even though we really don't want to. There are a lot of great jobs for me in the Idaho Falls area, but nothing for Kolt. I never thought I'd see the day when an RN would have a hard time finding a decent job. So what it amounts to is where there are jobs for me, there are none for Kolt and where there are jobs for Kolt there are none for me. What are we supposed to do???? For now all I know to do is look online everyday for a job, I've asked my mother-in-law for help to see if she could call in a favor on my behalf since she used to work here in the field I'm interested in, and just hope that something pans out for us.
I think we can both feel the tension of the situation we're in, not having our own things or our own place, not being able to have our cars in a garage, just the little things that we were used to that we don't have anymore. We were very independent at such a young age, and it feels like we've taken a huge step back. That combined with having no clue what our future holds at the moment is just really starting to wear us down. Kolt has submitted his petition for his health issues to the higher up medical authorities in the Air Force and we are just waiting for them to let us know if they'll accept him or not. I'm beginning to think that maybe at this point he should just sign on for three years and start into the Air Force now, then go to grad school like we had originally planned. I haven't mentioned this to him and I don't think he'll agree, but at least it gets us moving forward in our lives. I'm just so tired of being stuck, unable to move forward or back, not progressing, just hovering in this land of no opportunity. I hope to sometime soon have some good news to tell you all!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
First Run Down
So today I finally restarted my old running program, the Couch to 5k. It's designed for people who don't run and guides through 9 weeks of running so that at the end you can run a 5k with ease. In the beginning it starts off with short walk/jog intervals and works your way up to just jogging. I decided that since I have been running some recently I would start on week 4. I pushed myself really hard since it was just shorter intervals, but it was still a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I'm just a really slow runner, even when I've been training for a while I run at about a 5.5 mph pace, I would love to run at 6 or 7 mph but I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get there. All that really matters is that I can do it, the speed is just a bonus. I did most of the intervals at a 6mph pace and it really kicked my butt! I think on the next run I'll start off slower and get faster through out, rather than going so hard right from the start.
I have begun to look for races that I can participate in and Utah has a great website for this, so I can pretty much run every weekend if I wanted to. I think I'll try and do about two a month is all and that will depend on our plans and what not, but for now that's my goal. I haven't picked my first race yet, but soon I'll select one for the end of April.
I found out today that Mesa Falls, ID has a marathon every year (it's very close to Kolt's parent's house and it's gorgeous there). This year it's August 22nd and I'm trying to decide if I'll be ready for a half marathon by then. I'm not sure but I think that's good timing for it, almost 6 months from now. It's a great goal to work towards, plus it won't be that hot then up there, which is part of what scares me from running this summer. I don't want to get heat stroke! (I have before, not while running, but it was awful). But I suppose they hold the races early in the morning and plenty of people get out there and run in the middle of July and do just fine. I won't let it keep me from doing what I want.
I'm just so excited at the thought of actually being able to run 13.1 miles without stopping. How incredible would that be!??!?! At my current pace it would take me about 2.5 hours which is INSANE to me. I really do think if I work hard I can do it though! I'll be more than happy to keep everyone updated on my progress. Even if you don't care so much it's really exciting to me! lol
I have begun to look for races that I can participate in and Utah has a great website for this, so I can pretty much run every weekend if I wanted to. I think I'll try and do about two a month is all and that will depend on our plans and what not, but for now that's my goal. I haven't picked my first race yet, but soon I'll select one for the end of April.
I found out today that Mesa Falls, ID has a marathon every year (it's very close to Kolt's parent's house and it's gorgeous there). This year it's August 22nd and I'm trying to decide if I'll be ready for a half marathon by then. I'm not sure but I think that's good timing for it, almost 6 months from now. It's a great goal to work towards, plus it won't be that hot then up there, which is part of what scares me from running this summer. I don't want to get heat stroke! (I have before, not while running, but it was awful). But I suppose they hold the races early in the morning and plenty of people get out there and run in the middle of July and do just fine. I won't let it keep me from doing what I want.
I'm just so excited at the thought of actually being able to run 13.1 miles without stopping. How incredible would that be!??!?! At my current pace it would take me about 2.5 hours which is INSANE to me. I really do think if I work hard I can do it though! I'll be more than happy to keep everyone updated on my progress. Even if you don't care so much it's really exciting to me! lol
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Phoenix
Well, it seems the time has come for me to go on a path of self discovery and renewal. I've come to the realization that at 25, I'm still not quite sure who I really am. I've been so lost ever since I lost my babies and I've decided that it's time I stopped wallowing in my misery and pick myself up and move on. I've been afraid it would be disrespectful to them if I just forgot about them and went on with my everyday life, but in trying to hold on to their memories I've slowly been descending down a path of internal self destruction. So after a nice (well maybe not so nice) long talk with Kolt last night, I've decided that I'm finally ready to let them go and move on with the rest of my life.
The happiest I've been since I lost the first one was when I was running and I'm ready to completely throw myself back into it. Before I was using a program called Couch-to-5k and it was amazing. It's a nine week program invented for people who don't run, but want to. I am by no means a distance runner but I can't believe what an accomplishment it would be to run a 10k or a half marathon! So I will re-start the program tomorrow. I don't think I want to start all the way back at the beginning, because I have been running the last month, but I do want to utilize the program to build me up to 5k ability. Then once I'm able to run 5k with no problems, then I'll move on the the next phase, preparing for a 10k. My goal is by the end of the summer to run a 10k, maybe even a half marathon. I need to start looking for races now and sign up for them as soon as I can so I have a deadline to be ready by.
I want to thank all of my friends who have stood by me through the last year. It's been the hardest of my life and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. But it's time I put it into perspective and realize that I am blessed in so many other ways, and it could be SO much harder. I mean, the very fact that we sold our house for the price we wanted in about two months is incredible! Kolt has a good job and even if he never got into graduate school it would be sufficient for our needs and we would never have to worry about him being out of work. Kolt and I have been given a very unique opportunity to spend so much time together, many couples would kill for a tenth of the time we get alone. I need to try and remember the things I do have and stop crying over the things I don't. It won't change what's been done and I'm finally ready to put it behind me and try and become a better person, a better wife, a better friend, a better sister and daughter. It's not going to be easy, but I know it will be worth all the pain in the end. I'm ready to submit the fire of the phoenix and let the past burn behind me and emerge a stronger woman.
The happiest I've been since I lost the first one was when I was running and I'm ready to completely throw myself back into it. Before I was using a program called Couch-to-5k and it was amazing. It's a nine week program invented for people who don't run, but want to. I am by no means a distance runner but I can't believe what an accomplishment it would be to run a 10k or a half marathon! So I will re-start the program tomorrow. I don't think I want to start all the way back at the beginning, because I have been running the last month, but I do want to utilize the program to build me up to 5k ability. Then once I'm able to run 5k with no problems, then I'll move on the the next phase, preparing for a 10k. My goal is by the end of the summer to run a 10k, maybe even a half marathon. I need to start looking for races now and sign up for them as soon as I can so I have a deadline to be ready by.
I want to thank all of my friends who have stood by me through the last year. It's been the hardest of my life and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. But it's time I put it into perspective and realize that I am blessed in so many other ways, and it could be SO much harder. I mean, the very fact that we sold our house for the price we wanted in about two months is incredible! Kolt has a good job and even if he never got into graduate school it would be sufficient for our needs and we would never have to worry about him being out of work. Kolt and I have been given a very unique opportunity to spend so much time together, many couples would kill for a tenth of the time we get alone. I need to try and remember the things I do have and stop crying over the things I don't. It won't change what's been done and I'm finally ready to put it behind me and try and become a better person, a better wife, a better friend, a better sister and daughter. It's not going to be easy, but I know it will be worth all the pain in the end. I'm ready to submit the fire of the phoenix and let the past burn behind me and emerge a stronger woman.
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