Weight Loss/Fitness Blog?

I realize most of my posts lately are about my personal triumphs with weight loss, and I've been getting a lot of positive feed back about this. I was wondering if I created a blog specifically for that purpose, would anyone be interested in reading it? I feel like nobody reads this one as it is, but I've been overwhelmed with the people who have contacted me about my success and have asked for tips, help, suggestions, etc. I keep wondering who am I to offer help or advice about anything, let alone weight loss, but then I realize I've lost 84 pounds and that's simply no small feat and I need to accept the praise and realize just how awesome that is. I'd REALLY appreciate feedback and comments about whether or not I should start a separate blog.

I weighed in at 160.5 today, my goal before Kolt got home was 159....I may have to adjust. After the horrible weekend I had with Christmas food, I was shocked to see a loss, let alone 3 pounds! I am continuously blown away at my accomplishments, I was hoping to get to the 150s, but I think part of me never believed I'd actually get there. I suppose I shouldn't jinx myself yet because I haven't actually made it, but it's so close I can taste it. I'm not sure if I want to go to the 140s or not, we'll have to see how I feel and look. New goal is 155 before Kolt gets home, I feel pretty confident I'll be able to make it.

Keeping it Real

Since I've been on my high horse a lot lately about how much weight I've lost and what I've done to do it, I feel like I need to be honest about my Christmas weekend. I had about 2 days of total crap eating. Chips.....chips KILL ME. I love them so much and it's hard for me to eat just a few and so I certainly had plenty. Also pie and cake and ice cream, a few bits of Christmas candy....sigh. I felt like crap the whole time I was eating it and yet I couldn't make myself stop. It was scary to realize THAT is how it happens. Just a bite of this, a bite of that. And then 'well today is ruined I might as well enjoy the rest of the food' and then "well just this weekend, then Monday I'll get back on track." Thankfully, today I was able to go back to eating healthy, I haven't been able to work out since last Wednesday though and it's killing me! So I have to be extra careful with my diet until I can. It really is just that easy to slip and slide down the trail of unhealthy and over eating though, and now I really do know, I can't cheat on my diet, not until I'm at my goal weight, whatever that is. I am excited to be in maintenance mode, I'll be able to eat 1000 more calories a day! (probably won't, but I could.) I'll be there soon enough, hopefully just a few more months.

Today I went shopping with my sister and saw myself in my skinny jeans, new boots, and new top that I bought in a full length 3 sided mirror, I have to admit I was floored. I actually looked good. I'm not trying to brag or be cocky, this is just an actual realization that I never thought I would be able to say. I'm not fat any more, I can't believe it. I also found out that the size 30 jeans I wear are equivalent to a size 9, a NINE!!! I can't believe it. I know I can keep working and get down to a 29 or a 7 too. Who would have ever thought 83 pounds and a size 18 W ago that I'd be a 9? I have to keep reminding myself constantly to be proud of all I have accomplished, and refuse to let a weekend of bad eating drag me down. I'm human, I'll mess up, but it's about taking control and moving on and keeping true to your goals.

How I "do it."

Since making several blog and facebook posts about my weight loss, I've been getting a whole lot of "how do you do it??" So I thought I'd put it out there for everyone to read and take it as you will.

This has been an on going process from the time Leila was born. I suppose I'll own up to my discretions and post my weight. The day I delivered Leila I was a whopping 245. I'm beyond embarrassed to admit it, but part of celebrating in my success has to be acknowledging what I allowed myself to become.

I wasn't one of those bounce right back types. I was 196 before I got pregnant, so I gained 49 pounds. I exclusively breast fed and it still didn't fall off like so many had promised it would. I left the hospital 9 pounds less than when I walked in, Leila's weight plus the extra stuff that came with her delivery is all I lost. I think I remember the second week losing 7 pounds, so that put me at 229. I remember going home to Idaho in October 2010 and weighing 220, so I lost9 more pounds in those first two months for a total of 25 from the time she was born. I honestly wasn't doing anything special, no work outs, just trying not to eat like a pig...which I still did on occasion.

After getting family pictures done and seeing for myself just how fat I still looked, I committed to myself that I was going to focus on losing weight. I weighed in at 218 on Nov 8 2010. (I know this because I kept a journal). I still wasn't doing anything dramatic, a work out video here or there, trying to make good choices with food, that's all. By Thanksgiving I had lost 5 more pounds to be 214. It wasn't until the beginning of February that I got to 199, a HUGE step for me. By Feb 17 I was 196, my pre-pregnancy weight. 6 months to lose the 50 I had gained during pregnancy, a pretty healthy rate if you ask me. I believe I was so over weight that i didn't have to do much to make it come off at that point. I was not super consistent about eating well and exercising.

The next 30 has been more of a challenge. I started Weight Watchers in March when Kolt went to a training, that got me down to the 180s, where I stayed until he left in May for training for deployment. I was very on again off again with my diet, but him being gone is always a motivator for me. The month he was at combat training I got down to 176 by Weight Watchers and some light exercise. After he came home....I gained 10 back in 3 weeks. I let myself eat whatever I wanted, figured I had 6 months after he left to lose it and I let myself go. It took me until he'd been gone 3 months before I finally realized I was running out of time and had better get my act together.

So most recently what I've done is pretty strict but straight forward.

1- I eat 6 meals a day, every day. I truly believe that is essential to keeping your metabolism going and when your'e working out very hard, the protein is essential.

2- I drink nothing but water or sugar free tea with an occasional glass of skim milk. I drink between 3-4 liters of water every day.

3- I limit my sodium intake, and have lots of fiber and protein, and limit carbs to whole grain only.

4- I work my BUTT OFF at the gym. 3-5 times a week, 1.5-2 hours. I have a personal trainer (worth every single penny) that I work out with twice a week, about 45 minutes a time. I have stepped up my cardio to 60 minutes now, with about 30-45 minutes of strength training.

5- I DO NOT CHEAT with my diet, at all, ever (currently.) No bite of this, or taste of that. No soda, candy, cookies, chips, fried food, fast food, nothing. I could not lose I could only maintain by having crap or by having days where I ate what I wanted. The longer I do it, the easier it is because I've realized it's just not worth it. It's not. Even through the holidays, I've made cookies and not had a bite, been at parties and brought my own food so I didn't have to starve or eat high calorie foods. This is what a typical day looks like for me:

B- egg whites with spinach, onions, half a slice of turkey bacon, and a banana or piece of whole wheat 45 calorie toast. Approx 150 cals (i have this breakfast every day).

S- non fat greek yogurt, various fruit flavors. 140 cals

L- a low cal frozen dinner, smart ones or lean cuisine. 300 cals or less

S- protein bar 150-210 cals

D- Hungry Girl or Weight Watcher reciepe, 400 cals or less

S- Protein Shake post work out 130 cals.

grand total- 1300 ish.

With as little weight as I have left to lose (I am currently 164, my goal is 145-155) I had to step it up. Most people scoff at the gym, but strength training and muscle toning is ESSENTIAL to losing weight and keeping it off. Proper diet is important, but I know I'll never get back to 140s without weight lifting.

It's all about planning ahead. If I know I'm going to be somewhere there won't be good food, I eat ahead of time, or bring my own frozen dinner or protein bar to eat. I ask for the nutritional menu at restaurants because you'd be shocked as to what's "healthy" and what's not. If I eat out, it's a salad with grilled chicken or a grilled chicken sandwhich, no sauce. Is it "boring" yes. So what? I'd rather eat boring food and be thin, than eat fun food and be fat.

Being over weight (for most people) is a choice. Plain and simple. I chose not to exercise, I chose to eat fatty foods, I CHOSE TO BE FAT. I did it, no one else, me. I own that and I accept that. The nice thing about that is, you can also choose to be healthy. You can choose to put in the work and change you life. YOU CAN CHOOSE.

A lot of people have told me things like 'life's too short to be a gym rat and only eat rabbit food." In my opinion, life's too short to eat like crap and hate your body and be unhealthy, and it will be even shorter if you live that way. It's all about changing your mentality with food. Don't celebrate with food, don't give in to convenience processed food, don't eat just because it's there and everyone else is! This season is especially awful for that. I can see having ONE meal, ONE day where you can relax and let go, but why does it have to be days, weeks, months of grazing? People say "after New Year's I'll start to lose weight." How many times have you said that? I've said it a million times. I was fat for 9 years, almost all of my twenties, for what? Cake? Pizza? Ice cream? Did it really make me happier? Of course not. Every time I walked into a room I wondered if people noticed me as the fat chic. I wondered if people wondered what Kolt was doing with a fatty like me. I wondered if he regretted marrying me, since I was thin when we met. Every time I ran into someone I knew in high school all I could think about was "they must be thinking 'she really let herself go.' " Because I did. I HATED myself and the way I looked. Kolt can tell anyone how I bawled every time I went shopping. How humiliated I was to shop in plus size stores because nothing at the mall fit me anymore. I did that for YEARS. What for? Why?

There will come a point where the light will go off in your head and you'll realize "It is just not worth it." And you'll put the donut down and walk away. It's a liberating moment and the first step in a long journey. It's hard and discouraging. You won't lose every week. You'll work your butt off only to see a gain sometimes. It happens, but the end goal should not be a weight, or a size, it should be a lift time of health and wellness. It's not a diet, or a fad or a phase. It's a life style change and CHOICE, and no one can make it but you.

I'm not saying that I'm a skinny minnie expert. I still want to lose 20 more pounds, my BMI just dropped into normal range today. I will have good days and bad, and I'm sure this will be a life long process for me. But I am publicly announcing today my pledge to myself to never be fat again. Nothing is better than the self confidence and amazing feeling of satisfaction I have now, and I'm damn proud of myself and hope to continue to be proud and impress myself.

If any of you have any questions, feel free to ask. I don't think of myself as a source of motivation, but apparently I am. So I'll gladly help in any way I can.

How I "do it."

Since making several blog and facebook posts about my weight loss, I've been getting a whole lot of "how do you do it??" So I thought I'd put it out there for everyone to read and take it as you will.

This has been an on going process from the time Leila was born. I suppose I'll own up to my discretions and post my weight. The day I delivered Leila I was a whopping 245. I'm beyond embarrassed to admit it, but part of celebrating in my success has to be acknowledging what I allowed myself to become.

I wasn't one of those bounce right back types. I was 196 before I got pregnant, so I gained 49 pounds. I exclusively breast fed and it still didn't fall off like so many had promised it would. I left the hospital 9 pounds less than when I walked in, Leila's weight plus the extra stuff that came with her delivery is all I lost. I think I remember the second week losing 7 pounds, so that put me at 229. I remember going home to Idaho in October 2010 and weighing 220, so I lost9 more pounds in those first two months for a total of 25 from the time she was born. I honestly wasn't doing anything special, no work outs, just trying not to eat like a pig...which I still did on occasion.

After getting family pictures done and seeing for myself just how fat I still looked, I committed to myself that I was going to focus on losing weight. I weighed in at 218 on Nov 8 2010. (I know this because I kept a journal). I still wasn't doing anything dramatic, a work out video here or there, trying to make good choices with food, that's all. By Thanksgiving I had lost 5 more pounds to be 214. It wasn't until the beginning of February that I got to 199, a HUGE step for me. By Feb 17 I was 196, my pre-pregnancy weight. 6 months to lose the 50 I had gained during pregnancy, a pretty healthy rate if you ask me. I believe I was so over weight that i didn't have to do much to make it come off at that point. I was not super consistent about eating well and exercising.

The next 30 has been more of a challenge. I started Weight Watchers in March when Kolt went to a training, that got me down to the 180s, where I stayed until he left in May for training for deployment. I was very on again off again with my diet, but him being gone is always a motivator for me. The month he was at combat training I got down to 176 by Weight Watchers and some light exercise. After he came home....I gained 10 back in 3 weeks. I let myself eat whatever I wanted, figured I had 6 months after he left to lose it and I let myself go. It took me until he'd been gone 3 months before I finally realized I was running out of time and had better get my act together.

So most recently what I've done is pretty strict but straight forward.

1- I eat 6 meals a day, every day. I truly believe that is essential to keeping your metabolism going and when your'e working out very hard, the protein is essential.

2- I drink nothing but water or sugar free tea with an occasional glass of skim milk. I drink between 3-4 liters of water every day.

3- I limit my sodium intake, and have lots of fiber and protein, and limit carbs to whole grain only.

4- I work my BUTT OFF at the gym. 3-5 times a week, 1.5-2 hours. I have a personal trainer (worth every single penny) that I work out with twice a week, about 45 minutes a time. I have stepped up my cardio to 60 minutes now, with about 30-45 minutes of strength training.

5- I DO NOT CHEAT with my diet, at all, ever (currently.) No bite of this, or taste of that. No soda, candy, cookies, chips, fried food, fast food, nothing. I could not lose I could only maintain by having crap or by having days where I ate what I wanted. The longer I do it, the easier it is because I've realized it's just not worth it. It's not. Even through the holidays, I've made cookies and not had a bite, been at parties and brought my own food so I didn't have to starve or eat high calorie foods. This is what a typical day looks like for me:

B- egg whites with spinach, onions, half a slice of turkey bacon, and a banana or piece of whole wheat 45 calorie toast. Approx 150 cals (i have this breakfast every day).

S- non fat greek yogurt, various fruit flavors. 140 cals

L- a low cal frozen dinner, smart ones or lean cuisine. 300 cals or less

S- protein bar 150-210 cals

D- Hungry Girl or Weight Watcher reciepe, 400 cals or less

S- Protein Shake post work out 130 cals.

grand total- 1300 ish.

With as little weight as I have left to lose (I am currently 164, my goal is 145-155) I had to step it up. Most people scoff at the gym, but strength training and muscle toning is ESSENTIAL to losing weight and keeping it off. Proper diet is important, but I know I'll never get back to 140s without weight lifting.

It's all about planning ahead. If I know I'm going to be somewhere there won't be good food, I eat ahead of time, or bring my own frozen dinner or protein bar to eat. I ask for the nutritional menu at restaurants because you'd be shocked as to what's "healthy" and what's not. If I eat out, it's a salad with grilled chicken or a grilled chicken sandwhich, no sauce. Is it "boring" yes. So what? I'd rather eat boring food and be thin, than eat fun food and be fat.

Being over weight (for most people) is a choice. Plain and simple. I chose not to exercise, I chose to eat fatty foods, I CHOSE TO BE FAT. I did it, no one else, me. I own that and I accept that. The nice thing about that is, you can also choose to be healthy. You can choose to put in the work and change you life. YOU CAN CHOOSE.

A lot of people have told me things like 'life's too short to be a gym rat and only eat rabbit food." In my opinion, life's too short to eat like crap and hate your body and be unhealthy, and it will be even shorter if you live that way. It's all about changing your mentality with food. Don't celebrate with food, don't give in to convenience processed food, don't eat just because it's there and everyone else is! This season is especially awful for that. I can see having ONE meal, ONE day where you can relax and let go, but why does it have to be days, weeks, months of grazing? People say "after New Year's I'll start to lose weight." How many times have you said that? I've said it a million times. I was fat for 9 years, almost all of my twenties, for what? Cake? Pizza? Ice cream? Did it really make me happier? Of course not. Every time I walked into a room I wondered if people noticed me as the fat chic. I wondered if people wondered what Kolt was doing with a fatty like me. I wondered if he regretted marrying me, since I was thing when we met. Every time I ran into someone I knew in high school all I could think about was "they must be thinking 'she really let herself go.' " Because I did. I HATED myself and the way I looked. Kolt can tell anyone how I bawled every time I went shopping. How humiliated I was to shop in plus size stores because nothing at the mall fit me anymore. I did that for YEARS. What for? Why?

There will come a point where the light will go off in your head and you'll realize "It is just not worth it." And you'll put the donut down and walk away. It's a liberating moment and the first step in a long journey. It's hard and discouraging. You won't lose every week. You'll work your butt off only to see a gain sometimes. It happens, but the end goal should not be a weight, or a size, it should be a lift time of health and wellness. It's not a diet, or a fad or a phase. It's a life style change and CHOICE, and no one can make it but you.

I'm not saying that I'm a skinny minnie expert. I still want to lose 20 more pounds, my BMI just dropped into normal range today. I will have good days and bad, and I'm sure this will be a life long process for me. But I am publicly announcing today my pledge to myself to never be fat again. Nothing is better than the self confidence and amazing feeling of satisfaction I have now, and I'm damn proud of myself and hope to continue to be proud and impress myself.

If any of you have any questions, feel free to ask. I don't think of myself as a source of motivation, but apparently I am. So I'll gladly help in any way I can.

Energized

One month ago I started working out with a personal trainer. The first week I lost 6 pounds. I was FLOORED. "Oh my gosh, I'll be able to lost 20 pounds before he gets back if this keeps up!" Well, that followed with 3 weeks of up a pound, down a pound, up a pound, down a pound. I was beyond frustrated and was so done with the whole process of 'losing weight' that I wanted to quit. Not gain back all I've lost but just stop trying to lose and try to be happy with the weigh I currently am. I have several friends who are huge motivators to me who have talked me out of this multiple times and finally last weekend something HIT me. I can NOT cheat. I can't have a throw away day or two a week and expect to lose. I can maintain that way (thus the up and down a pound) but I just can't lose. So I committed to myself, my friend, my husband, that I would NOT cheat until Kolt gets home and really lock down my food intake. I spent the weekend watching my family eat chocolate peanut clusters, mint cookies, pizza, bread sticks, peanut m&ms, chicken wings, candy, ice cream, all of my favorite things. I bought frozen low calorie meals, and protein bars, and salads instead. I made the conscious choice to resist the crap food of the season and focus on my weight loss. And it PAID off, I lost 3 pounds since Friday and am the lowest weight I've been in a long time. Tonight I'm going to a church Christmas party, those things are not known for healthy choices, so I opted to eat dinner before hand so I could calculate my calories. It's small things like that, and asking for the nutritional info at restaurants that are helping me lose again now.

I'm so proud of myself. My new "skinny" jeans that I could barely squeeze into are sagging and almost falling off and I'm seeing myself in the mirror and thinking "I actually look good. I'm not fat anymore." That in and of itself is a HUGE step for me. I'm no where near done, honestly I'd still like to lose 15-20 more pounds, but that can come in time, and it should. I'm hopeful to lose at least 5 more pounds this month, well really 7 if I'm being honest, before Kolt gets home. I feel like if I can keep this up, it's possible.

I have 2 huge mile stones coming up. 1- in 2.6 pounds I will no longer be "over weight" according to the BMI scale, 2- in 1.6 pounds I have lost 80 pounds since I was fully pregnant with Leila. I've come so far, I have to remember that when I get frustrated. I still have room to improve and want to continue to do so. I feel like I've adopted a healthy life style and it should be easy to maintain. I want to be a good example to Leila, be able to get down and play with her. I don't want to walk into a room and wonder if all anybody thinks is "wow, she's fat." I want to be confident and be more like the person I was when Kolt met me.

It's been a lot of sacrifice, especially during this junk food fest season, but no food, no matter how delicious, is better than feeling beautiful, confident, sexy EVERY DAY. When I get down to where I want to be, I'll allow myself a treat on occasion, it's not realistic to expect to NEVER have those kinds of food, but at least now I know that I don't need it, nor do I really want it anymore, and that is a success all by itself.

On the Kolt front, we're down to a month or less now. We won't know the day he'll be back until about 2-3 days ahead is all. But we have a good window. I do know now when I'm leaving (about 90% sure) either the 4th of January or the 7th, depending on who goes down with me. So at most I have 25 days until I go back to Texas, and that just makes my heart sing. Soon enough my heart will be whole again. There is much to be grateful for and celebrate right now.

It's December!

Not much going on, just figured I'd better update. We're just about down to one month to go. We don't know when he'll be home, probably won't know until a week ahead of time, but we have a general idea, and it's getting close. So far time is still just trucking along and I'm getting excited. So much so that I can't fall asleep at night, which really sucks. I'm crazy tired but my mind just won't shut off at night because it's filled with visions of seeing him walk down the hall towards us in the airport, imagining what that first hug and kiss will be like, what Leila will do when she sees him, how long it will take us to find a house, praying for good weather until I go, you get the idea. Good news is I do have a tentative plan of action on how to get home, and now how to get the S2K home! That's more than I had a few weeks ago. The plan is I'll drive down with a friend that I'll fly up from Austin, and Miss Leila will fly down with her Grandma. The only wrench in that plan is Grandma just had surgery on her shoulder, and seeing her in her sling there's no way she can change a diaper, let alone handle her through security and on a plane for 3 hours. So now I'm not quite as confident of the idea. I do NOT want Leila to have to drive down, it will be a nightmare for her and me because of the stress I'll have for her discomfort and restlessness. We'll just have to see how it goes, I'm prepared to take her with me if I have to, I just really don't want to.

I've been working with a realtor trying to find us a house. I don't want to spend months looking when we get back, more like a week so we can close and be in by February. We've been without our things long enough, I'm ready to have my own home again. We've got a pretty narrow search criteria and so we've got about 7 choices at the moment that are decent, 4-5 that are really good and that's really all I want. I don't want to spend all of Kolt's time off when he gets home running around trying to find a place to live and get settled. I'd like to spend time as a family and have fun, you know? Hopefully my tendency to over think things and plan and prepare will help us out in that regard.

Here are some Christmas pics I took last weekend of Leila, too cute not to post.