Keeping it Real

Since I've been on my high horse a lot lately about how much weight I've lost and what I've done to do it, I feel like I need to be honest about my Christmas weekend. I had about 2 days of total crap eating. Chips.....chips KILL ME. I love them so much and it's hard for me to eat just a few and so I certainly had plenty. Also pie and cake and ice cream, a few bits of Christmas candy....sigh. I felt like crap the whole time I was eating it and yet I couldn't make myself stop. It was scary to realize THAT is how it happens. Just a bite of this, a bite of that. And then 'well today is ruined I might as well enjoy the rest of the food' and then "well just this weekend, then Monday I'll get back on track." Thankfully, today I was able to go back to eating healthy, I haven't been able to work out since last Wednesday though and it's killing me! So I have to be extra careful with my diet until I can. It really is just that easy to slip and slide down the trail of unhealthy and over eating though, and now I really do know, I can't cheat on my diet, not until I'm at my goal weight, whatever that is. I am excited to be in maintenance mode, I'll be able to eat 1000 more calories a day! (probably won't, but I could.) I'll be there soon enough, hopefully just a few more months.

Today I went shopping with my sister and saw myself in my skinny jeans, new boots, and new top that I bought in a full length 3 sided mirror, I have to admit I was floored. I actually looked good. I'm not trying to brag or be cocky, this is just an actual realization that I never thought I would be able to say. I'm not fat any more, I can't believe it. I also found out that the size 30 jeans I wear are equivalent to a size 9, a NINE!!! I can't believe it. I know I can keep working and get down to a 29 or a 7 too. Who would have ever thought 83 pounds and a size 18 W ago that I'd be a 9? I have to keep reminding myself constantly to be proud of all I have accomplished, and refuse to let a weekend of bad eating drag me down. I'm human, I'll mess up, but it's about taking control and moving on and keeping true to your goals.