Happy in Texas

I'm not even sure when the last time I posted was! It has been a busy month. I went out to Wisconsin for my niece's wedding which was a blast. Then right after that Kolt's parents and I took off for Florida followed by Alabama. We had a wonderful time and it was a great experience to be there when he graduated from COT. I've loved being with him full time again and don't take it for granted for a second!

We had a great time at Thanksgiving in Idaho. It was a mad dash to run around and see everyone before we left. We saw two sets of friends, one in Utah one in Preston, Kolt's grandmother in Preston, then Kolt's sister and her family and his parents. We did a quick Christmas party then drove back to my parent's for Thanksgiving. It was delicious and I hope we get a chance to go home for the holidays next year! The drive out here was long and thankfully uneventful. The dogs did great on the trip and I'm very grateful for that. Then we stopped in Ft. Worth and spent the night with my Aunt Laura and my grandmother! It was wonderful getting to see them, however briefly it was. Then the next day I got to have breakfast with my childhood best friend, Katie. THAT was one of the highlights of my year. I haven't seen her since I was 15 and I've really missed her. She lives in Ft. Worth as well and so is only 4 short hours away now! She really helped me to feel like I was as alone down here.

We are mostly settled into our house on base. We haven't decided wether or not we want to stay here permenantly. It's small and has no garage, which is a big problem. BUT, we don't want to move again. The big issue is Wilford Hall, the airforce hospital, and Brooks Army Medical Center (which will be referred to as BAMC from now on) are merging. Kolt's unit will be moving into BAMC in about 6 months to a year. Problem is BAMC is all the way on the other side of town and one of the huge reasons for living on base was proximity to work. We'll figure it out as we go but there is a big possibility of us moving in the future. Wether we will buy or rent is still undecided.

For now we are happy and mostly settled into our new home in Texas. The weather here has been warm but mostly cloudy and misty. It's the strangest thing, but when it's misty here it's not really raining per se, but there's moisture in the air and it makes the roads almost as slick as with ice! I'm learning to drive on it and have been very careful.

It hasn't really hit me yet that we're alone down here and I haven't had time to get lonely yet, but I'm sure it will come. We don't have any plans to go home at the moment, but I'm sure we'll make some soon. To all of our family and friends, we love you and miss you! Merry Christmas!

10 days to go!

I thought I'd pop on and write one more post before my traveling adventures begin tomorrow! I leave in the morning to drive to Salt Lake with my mother, we have a bunch of errands and appointments to go to, including a manicure and pedicure, and then we fly out Wednesday afternoon for Wisconsin. We will be in Wisconsin for my niece Jessica's wedding on Saturday and then fly home on Sunday. I'll have just enough time to go back to Piper's, check on my dogs, repack, and then head out Monday morning to go back to Salt Lake with Kolt's parents.

We fly out Tuesday the 17th for Pensacola, FL and will spend Tuesday and Wednesday there. Thursday we will drive up to Montgomery, AL for Kolt's pre graduation dinner. I'm am SO looking forward to it. I have a gorgeous new dress to wear and that will be when I get to see Kolt again!! After that we have graduation Friday morning and then the four of us will go back to Pensacola for the weekend. Then Kolt's parents will fly home and Kolt and I will drive to San Antonio. Monday morning we will inprocess, get our housing set up and then Tuesday fly back to Idaho for Thanksgiving with my family. Friday we will spend time with his family for a Christmas party and then we will hit the road with our dogs and all to Texas. THEN we will be done traveling.

Whew, that was a lot! Hope that makes sense to everyone, it took me weeks to work it all out, lol. So if you don't hear from me or us for a while, that's why!

Kolt is doing amazingly well at COT. He got a 92% on his first exam and a 91% on his physical. He's lost 8 lbs while he's been there and is in the top of his class. They had the last exam this morning, and after today are doing the physical stuff, ROPES course, obstacle course, leadership course. He's really happy that the academic portion of COT is over, it was a lot to take in, in a short amount of time. I have high hopes that he'll finish in the top 10% and be a distinguished graduate, but even if he's not, he did great and I'm proud of him!

This time apart has gone by amazingly fast and for that I am grateful. I have been able to lose 13lbs so far and will hopefully lose at least 3-5 more before I see him in 10 days. But no matter what I'm proud of myself for losing what I have and will continue to lose more until I'm back down to where I was when we met. It's a great feeling watching the pounds fall off and seeing the results of my hard work!

Day 18 of the Separation...half way there!

I thought that since today represents the half way point of our time apart, it would be good to do another update.

Kolt is doing very, very well at COT. He's not loving it, merely surviving it, but is doing well nevertheless. He passed his physical with flying colors, he's done well on the obstacle courses and puzzle courses, and passed the only test he's taken so far with a 95%. He's figure out a way of efficient note taking and is studying like crazy. His stress levels seem to have gone down because at this point he's pretty much got the swing of things figured out. He has two full weeks left and one partial week until he graduates, and believe me, he can't wait to be done.

I am doing really well. At the half way point I'm down 10.5 lbs. It should be more, but I finally allowed myself to cheat with Halloween and all. But today is back to the grind, and I'm going to push it really hard until I go to Wisconsin to give me a little leeway on that trip. Oh, I don't think I've mentioned that yet.

My oldest niece is getting married on November 14th and my mom and I will be going out to Wisconsin to be there for the event. I haven't been there in about 5 years and haven't seen a few of my nieces and nephews in that long either. It will be a lot of fun, and a wonderful break in the time that I'm waiting for Kolt. I fly out on the 11th and will come back on the 15th, just in time to leave on the 17th for Florida/Alabama!!! I have only 10 more days until I leave for the first trip and it's coming so fast!

We're getting really excited to finally settle down in San Antonio and be done with all of this. It will be really hard to leave our families, but this marks a new starting place in our lives together and it will be an incredible new adventure. If we can survive this last month of displacement and travel, the rest will just fall into place I think.

Day 9 of the Separation

I've been very fortunate to be able to talk to Kolt a few more times this week. He sounds much better than he did. He's getting about 4-5 hours of sleep per night, even with his roommate who snores. He told me that he's very frustrated with the leadership of his flight but is dealing with it. They assigned leaders based off of rank, and it turns out they are not the most qualified group of people. He says that everyone in his flight has a problem prioritizing and meetings that they have that should last 10-20 mins are lasting hours. They also have homework assignments that are due on the computer and half of the computers are down. Most everyone has at least one of the two in their rooms that work, and of course Kolt and his roommate have none. He's falling behind because of this, but he's used a fellow flightmember's computer and login to do the modules, but there's no way for him to prove that he did it himself. He has a great attitude despite all of this and actually believes they are creating this chaos on purpose in order to teach the airmen priorities and dealing with the stress. Kolt has a great perspective and is not letting the little things get him down, and I'm really proud of him for this.

Today was his first fitness evaluation. If he passes then he doesn't have to worry about it again throughout the rest of COT, if he fails he will retest Monday, if he fails then, then they give them more exercise to do and fitness instruction and will retest more towards the end of COT. He said he was placed in the top half of the whole group for his running time and is confident he will pass today.

He says the time is flying by and can't believe he's already done with his first week. He's grateful to be done with the beginning part, he says they are already lightening up on the yelling and once the airmen understand a concept, they get out of their face and relax.

Kolt said that when we take our little trip to Florida after graduation that he's probably only going to sleep, which is fine with me. He will be so exhausted that I can't blame him, he'll definitely earn that rest time! Plus, i know him and know he won't really sleep the whole time.

I'm doing well. I got moved out of our storage unit in Idaho this week and on Tuesday am moving out of our apartment in Salt Lake. I'll be happy to have that part of this experience over, but I do worry that I will have much less to do once I go up to my sister's and that the remaining weeks will drag by for me. I miss Kolt so much but have stayed pretty busy, if the time goes by any slower, I don't know how I'm going to make it! At least I have Halloween to look forward to next weekend with my sister and her kids, then it will be November! Just 2 1/2 more weeks after that.

My weight loss is coming along amazingly well! I'm down 6 lbs in 9 days and am ahead of schedule. I'm being really careful with my food in take and exercising hard. It seems to just be falling off and I'm so excited! If I can be 2 sizes smaller the next time he sees me, it will be the best thing ever!

That's all of the excitement for now. I'll check back in next week with more updates on Kolt's progress!

Day 6 of the Separation

Well, Kolt arrived in Alabama on Saturday safe and sound. He was able to meet some fellow officers and have dinner the night before COT began, unfortunately none of them are in his flight. (Flights are groups of 9-12 men and women, and everything they do while in COT is with their flight).

I was able to talk to him briefly last night and he sounded so drained and overwhelmed. I asked him what he did that day and he really couldn't tell me anything. He said there was a lot of yelling, but they didn't do any of the things we thought that they would. I was pretty worried about him because he just sounded so exhausted, and it was only the first day and he had gotten a good night's sleep prior. He told me he didn't have a roommate, but I guess last night he got one at midnight, no clue why so late. This roommate snores very badly and Kolt said he only got 2 hours of sleep and to top it off he forgot to buy ear plugs and wouldn't have a chance to go back to the store until the weekend. Poor guy.

We have been able to text a little and I've been grateful for any contact I have with him. I was expecting to hear nothing from him for this whole first week and he called last night and texted today! It helps a lot to be able to have even just one text from him, I'm such a baby! I don't know how wives did it even ten years ago before texting and cell phones. My Aunt Laura and all of the other wives from past generations are my heroes!

I am doing pretty well. I had a hard time saying good bye to him yesterday when I thought we wouldn't be able to talk at all, but now that I know I can get even one text I'm better. I've been eating well and working out like crazy and am right on track for my 20lbs in 5 weeks. At this point I'm down 3 lbs in 5 days, and very happy with that.

We got our storage unit moved today and that was a LONG day. They arrived 3 hours late and took much longer than I thought to get it loaded, but they were nice and I'm happy to have it done. Just one more move next Tuesday then I'm all done for now. Woohoo :)

Day 1 of the Separation

Well, the day has finally come. Kolt left for officer training this morning and is on his way to Alabama right now. His goal is to get to Sidney, NE today, then Kansas City, MO tomorrow, Memphis, TN by Saturday and then finally roll in to Montgomery, AL Sunday afternoon. He has to report for in processing at noon on Monday.

After all of the waiting and crying and more waiting, it seems like this snuck up on us and got here too fast! This last week has been a whirl wind of spending time with friends and family, packing, shopping, and going up to the base to get things ready for our move.

The plan is for me to stay in SLC and work Friday-Monday, then go up to Idaho and be there when our stuff is moved from storage on the 20th. That is the bulk of our stuff and we were so happy to find out they would move us out of two locations. Then I think I'll come back to SLC and work for one more week until they come on the 27th to move our things out of our apartment. After that I think I'll head up to Pocatello and stay the remainder of the 3 weeks with my sister, Piper. I may come down and stay with my friends Brandon and Lauren to work one more weekend in November, and to try and break up my weeks. I worry that once all of our things are moved and the dust has settled from that, the last few weeks will DRAG by for me :(

Kolt's parents and I were going to road trip out to Alabama a week before the graduation to bring out another one of our vehicles, but we decided to return it since it was leased under the Servicemember Civil Relief Act. It was really simple to do, make a phone call, send a fax and an email and 24 hours later our car was gone. We loved the Xterra but figured we wouldn't need an off roading SUV in Texas. So now we're down to 2 cars and a motorcycle, which will make everything a lot easier for us. Because of this though, now his parents and I are just going to fly down on the 18th of November. I was really looking forward to the trip, but this is what worked out best for all of us.

After COT graduation on the 20th, Kolt and I will make our way to SA and on the 23rd meet with the housing office to get our on base housing set up. Then we'll fly home, do Thanksgiving, try to see everyone we need to, then drive back to SA. While we will have on base housing, we've decided it will likely not meet our needs and so we will hopefully be buying a house not long after we get there. We've been looking online and have already seen so many that we like and that are SO affordable, it will be exciting and I'm really looking forward to owning a home again.

One of my goals while Kolt is gone is to lose 20 lbs. One of the JAG officers he talked to prior to leaving said he dropped 20 lbs while he was at COT and so it was my goal to lose more weight than Kolt while he's gone :) I understand that 20 lbs will be really hard to lose in 5 weeks, but I want to set the goal high to give me something to work hard for.

I will update the blog with Kolt's triumphs and blunders from his experience at COT as he tells them to me. I have a feeling that he won't call me very often and even when he does he won't talk very long because he'll have so much to do. I'm really excited for him and I know he'll enjoy the experience and will grow so much from it.

It's official

This morning Kolt was commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant in the United States Air Force. It was a brief ceremony where he took an oath and promised to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States. His parents were able to be there and his dad pinned on his 2nd Lt Bar on his shoulder.

I expected to get emotional or teary eyed but I didn't. After all this time it just felt right and I was so proud of him. His poor mother struggled and cried at the end, we know she is going to miss us terribly, as we will her and all of our family. For those of you who wanted to be there but couldn't on such short notice, we missed you but completely understood.

This was the first step in a long line of many towards our lives in the USAF. I'm so happy that it's finally all come together.

Change of Plans....

So on Tuesday we got a phone call from TSgt Bursee, he said that 4 slots had been opened up for the October COT class and we could have one if we wanted them. Kolt looked at me and before he had even told me what was said, I knew. "Oh, crap!" That's what we said. We were told we had minutes to decide as the slots would fill up fast, so Kolt said we'd call back in 20 minutes. We looked at each other with stunned expressions, holy cow! We knew he was on the stand-by list but never expected that anything would come of it. We had JUST moved into an apartment in Salt Lake, did we really wanna undo everything we just did? Kolt called his mom and his dad and asked for their advice. We really wanted to do it, but didn't at the same time. We were happy that we were going to be around for the holidays and for hunting season....but when it came down to it we decided that all of the little things weren't worth putting off our plans for 3 more months. So we called TSgt Bursee 20 minutes later and said we'd take it, and it turned out we took the very last spot.

So all of a sudden we have about 30 days to get all of our plans together. We don't know what we're doing with me yet. The USAF will move our things, but we have to consolidate them first. They will even pack us up, but if we pack up our apartment here, then there's no point in me staying in an empty apartment. Until we have his official orders, we can't contact any of the departments that will handle our move. Hopefully next week we can begin to figure things out and get things under way.

Kolt will be officially commissioned in to the USAF on Monday. We wanted to use one of his 2 uncles that are or were officers in the military, but on such short notice neither were available. So we're just using whoever we can get, and his parents will be there with us as we "sign our lives away."

Things are finally starting to come together for us, albeit in a rather rushed fashion. It's kind of ironic that after all of the months of waiting, now it seems we don't have enough time to get everything together!

As we figure things out I'll update on our status. Kolt will most likely drive out to training and he will leave on October 15th. I've applied for at least 7 or 8 jobs and if I can secure one, then I will be going at the same time. If not, then I may stay up here with family in the mean time. At this point, I just don't know but i promise to keep you posted!

FINALLY!!!

I think most people who read this are also my facebook friends, and so by now the news isn't "new" but I'll share it anyway. We finally got Kolt's orders on Wednesday Sept 2nd (I haven't had Internet access at home, this is the first chance I've gotten to post) and we're moving to San Antonio, Lackland AFB in February. We are so excited to be going to Texas, myself probably more than Kolt haha. I have family there and friends there as well and I just love Texas and have missed it so much over the last 10 years. I'm already making plans to see old friends that I have seen in years and new ones I have yet to meet in person.

Kolt will go to training on January 11th for 4 weeks. Then we hope to go on a cruise with his parents, then we will move mid February, I'm guessing around Valentine's Day :)

Because it's still 4 months away, and due to my brother and niece moving into my parent's house as well, we decided to move back to Salt Lake for the remainder of our time in the Mountain West. We found a cute little place right on the University campus, so it's 2 miles to work for me and it's right on the train for Kolt to his work. He's actually been riding his bike the 10 miles home everyday, I can't believe it! He says it's faster than the train with all the stops and it's a great way to wind down at the end of the day, so I can't blame him.

Once we get our place set up and decorated, maybe I'll take a few pics and post them. The dogs seem happy there and it finally feels like everything is falling into place for us. FINALLY! woohoo!

Still NO news

Well, I had certainly hoped by now that I would have some exciting news to tell everyone, but alas, I don't. Apparently way more people than usual applied at this particular board and that's holding them up as well as some other issues with the new COT class starting on Monday.

So here it is, almost the end of August and we know nothing more than we knew a year ago. Awesome. I keep hoping every day will be the day we get the call but at this point I'm beginning to think that we'll be in limbo forever. I'm hoping for next week sometime, and as soon as we know I will post it.

To complicate things even more I've pretty much lost all hope of Kolt making the October COT class which would mean there's not another one until January. That means we have to find a new place to live in Salt Lake and possibly even Idaho now that my brother and his daughter have also moved in with my parents. I'm trying to just take it one day at a time and not worry about the things I don't know yet but not knowing is beginning to take it's toll. I'm having a hard time sleeping at night and I frequently am very anxious and feel nauseated because of it, (and NO I am not pregnant). I know it will eventually all work out and we'll figure things out one step at a time, but this is just getting really old.

On a different note, we recently celebrated Kolt's 29th birthday and that was a blast. Our good friends Brandon and Lauren Martin and they're adorable baby girl came to visit and we went to the rodeo and to the reservoir. Kolt's parents and niece and nephew also came down and it was so much fun. It's been an incredible summer over all and I just keep wishing there were more time because there's so much we still want to do!

Speaking of birthdays, mine is coming up in 3 short weeks :) I keep tossing around the idea of a trip, possible to Monterey, Ca and Kolt is definitely not opposed, we just can't make any plans until we know what's going on. But I have high hopes for a really fun birthday. We've kind of made traveling for it a tradition over the last few years. If nothing else I'm training for a 10k now for the weekend of my birthday, so that will be great if nothing else. I've run as far as 5 miles at this point and I think if I really step up my training I'll be able to do it!

So I really hope that very soon I'll be able to post some good news, if not you may hear about me on the evening news going crazy and doing something stupid, lol.

If it's not one thing...

So I know we were ALL hoping that my next post would be filled with all the exciting details of Kolt's assignment, alas...some complications have come up and so I just wanted to fill everyone in so we don't keep getting asked if we have the orders yet.

First of all there were a few more forms that he had to sign, or resign it seemed to me, which he did and I drove them up to Sgt Bursee myself today. However, when I met with him he said that they needed a transcript from the Institute in Pocatello for the Book of Mormon class Kolt took there in 2002. We never thought about it before because it's not really a college or for grades, it's just something that people do in college to study the scriptures. Well, apparently since BYU accepted the "credits", all 2 of them, we now have to have an official transcript from them. The good news is his application went forward and is currently in process without this document, THAT is amazing, the bad news is even if they reach a decision and give him an assignment, we can't know what it is until they have the transcript. Kolt's working graves this week so I'm going to try and call them tomorrow and see what we can work out. I'm hoping since it's not really a University that I can tell them the situation and they will be so kind as to send a copy to us tomorrow and maybe by Monday or Tuesday Sgt Bursee will have it. I will also ask for one to be mailed to us as well in case the one they send doesn't make it.

It's not like it's a huge deal, just another one of those blasted set backs that keeps us farther from knowing our future. The other bit of info I got from Sgt Bursee was that the October COT date is filling up and he may not get to go until January. This is a problem because Kolt just passed up a charge nurse position because he didn't think he'd be there long enough to make it worth it, and because we will have to find another place to live for only a few months, and because it will just be that much longer that we live with my parents. NOT that I don't love them, but we're ready to move on.

I'm trying not to let all of this get me down because we don't know yet that we won't be able to go until January, but the thought of it being THAT much longer makes me sick almost. I just really want to move on with our lives and it seems like just when everything is in place, something else pops up that sets it back.

I'm really hoping that tomorrow the Institute will be super awesome and send out the transcripts and it will be no big deal. I'll let you all know how it goes.

On a more positive note, I found a 5k race that I'm going to run. It's here in Midvale (where our house is) and it's only $15, and it's all flat. It really is perfect and I'm excited to finally be running in a race. I'm up to 2.5 miles already so I feel confident I can be ready by August 8th. I'll give more details on that once I've run it.

Feeling Grateful

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. I really feel like I haven't had a whole lot to say. As far as we know Kolt's application will go in for review on Monday (July 20th) and we should hear back as soon as next Friday, the 24th. I promise as soon as we know where we are going there will be a big post in all caps with as many details as I can provide!

I've been doing exceptionally well with my running and weight loss. I retook on the challenge the 28th of June and am almost down 10 lbs. I've been running almost everyday and am up to 2.5 miles already!!!! That 5k isn't feeling so out of reach anymore and I am so proud of myself. I've just set my mind to it and I'm doing it. I figured that being over weight in my case is a choice that I alone have made and that I alone have continued to perpetuate and I'm over it. Food is food and while it can be SO good, it does nothing for me. It doesn't hug me back when I've had a bad day, it doesn't listen to my problems, it doesn't provide anything but momentary distraction and satisfaction that has in turn continued to lower my confidence and self esteem through out the years. My goal is to be down 40lbs by the time we move to wherever we're going, around the 20th of November. If more then great but that's my goal. I've really been pushing myself with the running and went out of my comfort zone and found a place to run in Salt Lake while I was down there working and had to go after work in the heat of the day at 4pm. I NEVER would have done that in the past, but nothing will stop me now. I need to sign up for a stinking race but I just haven't done it yet. But race or no race, I'm running as long as my body will allow me to.

All this being said and going back to the title of this post, I am feeling extremely grateful at this time in my life. There's a lot going on around me that I'm not directly apart of, but that I see and it just makes me realize how good Kolt and I really have it. I was recently insulted by someone I won't mention, but this person said something like this "Now I know why God doesn't want that crazy cracker jack psychology COW to have any children." And she also made another comment about me that commented on my "SIZE." This person is a pathetic piece of crap who has absolutely NOTHING going good for her in her life and felt the need to lash out at me to make herself and her laughable excuse of a life look better. I'll admit, I felt the rage go through my veins like nothing you could imagine. In fact, I vowed (much in the way of my father) that the next time I saw that %$%$&%*$ that I would put a dent in her forehead, particularly for the comment that God doesn't want to have children and that's why I keep losing them. As if that line of reasoning makes sense. Like he wants crack whores and 12 year old girls to have them? Please. But I went for a run and clarity reached me and the peace came. I have the most amazing life (well maybe not in the cool sense, at least not yet, but soon!) and I really can't ask for anything more than I have. An amazing husband who's loved me through thick and thin, quite literally, a good job that has allowed me the flexibility to work whenever I want this past 9 months, Kolt has a steady and good paying job with complete job security, I have an incredible family who loves me no matter what and who I know will be there every step of my life to pitch in and provide support any time I need it, and we're about to embark on a fantastic journey to God only knows where and to places that most people only dream about. We have complete financial security and tons of toys and more time than most couples could ever imagine having together. What more could I ask for? A child, yes, but at this point in my life I'm simply not ready for one. How many people can say that they have all of those things? That the truly want for nothing and are totally happy with their lives and at peace with themselves? I doubt very many. I really just have it so good, that I'm not going to let what some ignorant, selfish, self absorbed, psychotic, immature brat bring me down. It's not worth the energy to be upset or angry about it. So I won't, and instead will continue to reflect on the wonderfulness that is my life and I will continue to strive to meet my goals and I WILL accomplish them.

Just an update

So Kolt had his interview and it went very, very well. The chief nurse seemed to love him and spoke very highly of his letters of recommendation (and considering she reads dozens of these every month, that seemed to mean a lot to me.) She also complemented him on his essay and his writing skills. The only hitch that really came along was the news that despite his 2 years of ICU experience, he STILL has to join as a med-surg nurse. This was quite upsetting considering we waited this long for him to join so that he could have the experience to go IN as an ICU nurse. Had we known that it wouldn't have mattered we would have finished this process at least a year ago if not more. Kolt didn't seemed overly discouraged at this as I thought he would have. This will provide him with a new experience in nursing that will hopefully improve his overall skills as a nurse, and his 2 years experience will boost his resume and put him a step above the other RN's that apply for the position when the time comes. He has to work med-surg for 2-3 years we were told. Hopefully it won't be that long, but it's a really good thing he has 2 years under his belt already for when it comes time to apply to grad school. Hopefully this won't push back his goal of going to CRNA school, but we'll just have to see. Some good news that came from his 2 years experience is he may get to join and start out at 1st Lieutenant instead of 2nd, that will make his promotion to captain come MUCH sooner, hopefully he can reach that within a year. The idea of being married to a Captain in the USAF is VERY cool, although we do plan on him making a career out of the airforce and he hopes to reach full Colonel before he retires. We shall see.

We are supposed to find out his assignment at the very end of July and I promise to post it as soon as we know. This will be very exciting news and I'll be shouting it from the rooftops!

Not a lot is going on with me. Supposedly I have the job with Priestly Mental Health in town but they don't have any clients for me yet so I haven't been working. It's been very frustrating but I really want the experience so hopefully soon I can start working with them.

Kolt and I are going to be renting our friends' house since they are about to move out and so after 8 months we will FINALLY have a place that's just ours again. There won't be any furniture or even a stove, but at least we can be alone sometimes and I can do down to SLC and work at UNI until I can work here. I am very excited about that. I can't believe we only need it for 4 months though, because then Kolt will be DONE working for IMC and moving on to the USAF. It's crazy how fast time flies. I can't believe that it's practically July. And i must admit I'm wishing the time away because I desperately want to know where we're going to be living. Then i can finally start looking into my future and what I want to do with myself school wise. I think Kolt is rooting for me to continue on with nursing school, and we'll see if I can get into a program somewhere. I'm not convinced it's what i want to do, but I'll be good at it and it makes such good money (compared to what i make in mental health), it's hard to ignore the practicality of it. I just really want to go back to school and find something that i can be passionate about and hope that will help me find myself. I've been feeling kind of lost lately and in large part i think it's because I've had no purpose this last 8 months. i really think that if i can find a job i love or go back to school that I'll feel much better about myself as an adult woman contributing to society.

So that's pretty much it. Kolt and I are playing pretty hard so far this summer and our weekends off are filling up fast with fun activities. If you want to hang out with us you'd better call so we can pencil you in ;)

Naughty Naughty

Ok ok, so I said I was going to post every Monday about my success or lack thereof and I slacked. But I do not have good news to report. +3 lbs this week, ICK! Our friends came to visit and we ate like crap and did little exercise, what do I expect? BUT now Kolt's gone and I fully intend on working out twice a day and my goal is to lose the 3lbs by the time he gets back next Tuesday!

Kolt went suit shopping and bought 2 very sexy new suits. One Sean John and one Ralph Lauren. The SJ is black with a subtle pin stripe and a vest, the RL is navy blue and fits him really well. Of course they will both be tailored so they'll both fit perfectly, but on the initial fitting the blue fit really well. He looked great and I know he'll do SO well in his interview next week!

We've been really busy and have had so much fun the last few weeks. We went to the Minnetonka ice caves in St Charles, ID. It was a lot like Carslbad Caverns but smaller. Beautiful none the less. Kolt stole the computer that has the pics, so maybe next week I can get some pics up of the excursion.

Over all things are continuing to go very well. Once the 18th comes and goes and his USAF interview is over with, we can sit back and relax. We ran into a snag this week when TSgt Bursee told us that his letters of recommendation had expired. We've managed to collect at least 3, likely 6 and we can use 5, so I'm certain he'll be just fine. The hardest part of all of this is going to be waiting so long to get the Orders back. From what I understand, his application won't be submitted until the July 20th selection committee. I was under the impression that the selection committee met twice a month and thought that it would be sooner than that, but that's what TSgt Bursee said, so we'll just have to wait about 5-6 weeks. At this point though, what's another 5-6 weeks when we've been going through this for a year and a half? Especially since it's summer time and we have plenty to keep us busy. I promise as soon as his orders come in there will be a post for it! Hopefully it says we're going to Texas, but who knows...we could be going to Germany!

Interview Date Set

Looks like I spoke too soon yesterday! TSgt Bursee got back to us this morning and Kolt's interview is set for June 18th at 2 pm! Hallelujah!!!!!!! The only snafoo is all of his letters of recommendation are out of date because we got them so long ago (we've been going through this process for about 2 years). But TSgt Bursee said that he already sent letters with prepaid return envelopes to all those who have already written them. Plus I think Kolt can probably get 3-5 people at work to write them for him, no problem. Once he wakes up today, I'll tell him all this so he can get going on it!

It's a relief to have the days set now. Once we get the letters in, then I'll finally relax because I know he's going to do amazingly well in the interview with the Chief Nurse. So for now it looks like we'll submit his application on July 20th and should find out about 1 week later. Woohoo!

Oh, and a quick thanks to Kaela for doing my new header! It's adorable!!!

Not much to report

Unfortunately there's still not a whole lot going on. Sgt Bursee hasn't gotten back to us about a date for Kolt's interview. Sometimes it REALLY bothers me that he won't communicate with us, but it's usually because he has nothing to report. When something happens, he gets the info to us immediately, so I suppose that means he doesn't have the interview set up yet. It should be within the next three weeks from my understanding. I'll let you know as soon as we do.

I had an interview with Priestly Mental Health that went really well. My old boss even told me they called to get a reference from her and she went on and on about how great I was. I have yet to hear from them however, and it is INFURIATING. I mean, I guess I really do like not working so that when Kolt's home we can spend all our time together, but at the same time, I'm getting awfully bored not having anything to do when he's gone. A very good friend of mine advised me to just sit back and wait, especially since we know they went to the effort to contact my references. They must just be busy and will call me if they need me, and if not, bugging them about it won't help. So I'm trying to just go with the flow and leave it for now. In the mean time I'll just continue to try and pick up shifts at UNI to help supplement our income.

I have another good friend that blogs on here that is using her blog to update everyone on her weight loss progress. This way she has some accountability to others by keeping them in the loop. I think this is probably a good idea for me. Tomorrow is June 1st, the start of a new month and a Monday, both GREAT times to get back into the swing of things. I have continued to run and exercise but not on a consistent basis. I don't think I'm brave enough to post my weight on here for everyone in the world to see...but I do think I'll check in every Monday with my loss numbers. I figure at this point, I have about 6 months until we move to wherever it is that we're going, and at that point we will start trying to have a baby again. So I have 6 months to get myself into shape. That's PLENTY of time. I want to have a realistic goal set, but then also kind of a shoot for the stars goal and we'll see where I land. So my realistic goal is 40 lbs in 6 months, that's about 7 lbs a month which is definitely doable. My shoot for the starts goal is 60lbs, which is 10 a month, which is also doable but I don't want to overwhelm myself by setting my goals too high. So I guess next Monday will be my first check in with my loss numbers. If i don't do it, reply to this post and make me!

Minor setback, but no biggie

Ok, so Kolt isn't having his interview this Friday :( I guess the Chief Nurse was reassigned somewhere else and the temporary replacement can't meet with him until mid June. Probably around the 19th or so. It's not a big deal, it just means we have to wait longer to submit his application and wait longer to know where we are going. BUT the recruiter said it's pretty much guaranteed he's in so to plan on training in October! That made me so happy and replaced my anxiety over moving the interview. I am SO happy to finally be able to plan on this and have a date. This means we will be moving right before Thanksgiving. I couldn't be happier! This way Kolt doesn't have to be in Alabama when it's 100 degrees out and he still gets a little hunting in before we go away. Pretty much everything we were hoping for.

Now we just have to wait until the end of July to find out where we are going. We're pretty certain it will be Lackland, AFB in San Antonio, but you never know. I am particularly anxious to find out because I've pretty much decided that when we get where we're going I want to finish school and get my Master's Degree. Depending on where we go and what schools are available will determine the program, but this is really the perfect time for me. I won't need to be working since we will have almost no debt and no house payment or utilities, so I can focus entirely on school. If I can go full time most programs are only around 30-40 credit hours and most of the last year is practicum hours. Even if we want to have a baby (which make no mistake, I do) I think we will be able to work this into it. But, I can't make any concrete plans until I know what schools I will have available to me.

At this point I can say that I am very happy with our lives. We finally have a future and direction, I am really excited about going back to school, we can start a family, we get to move away and start a new adventure. Over all things are looking great. I may have a job by the end of this week, in Preston, which is exactly what I wanted. I'll let you all know as soon as I do what's going on with that!

My Brother's Wedding

My big brother, Jacob, got married yesterday. It was so much fun getting to see family I haven't seen in years. My grandmother and aunt flew in from Dallas to make it. My uncle drove down from Montana, and my sister flew out from Wisconsin! It was a great little family reunion and we all had a blast! It was really too bad that Kolt had to work, I missed him!

He PASSED!

Ok, so I was trying to wait to post this until I had some good news of my own, but that can wait. Kolt has officially passed his military physical and we can FINALLY move on with the rest of the process of applying to the Air Force Nurse Corps. He will interview on the 22nd with the Chief Nurse (which I imagine will go amazingly well) and then we finalize and submit his application that day as well. The selection committee meets twice a month, but I don't know when exactly, so I would guess we'll hear back mid-June.

If all goes according to plan, then Kolt will go to 4 weeks of commissioned officer training (COT) in Alabama on October 19th. We will then move right before Thanksgiving (I would guess) to Lackland AFB in San Antonio, Texas. He is signing on for 3 years, and then will go to graduate school to become a nurse anesthetist. I know this is all if everything goes perfectly, so it is subject to change and don't quote me on any of it. I am just SO thrilled that we are moving forward at last.

My good news will hopefully come tomorrow or the next day. I had a follow up job interview with Bear River Mental Health and feel it went VERY well. I am planning on getting a job offer tomorrow! But if not, that's ok too. I'll find something soon enough.

No news yet

Well, I was certainly hoping by now to let you know that Kolt had passed his medical evaluation and was going to be interviewing with the Chief Nurse soon, but alas, apparently it can take up to a month for the Surgeon General to approve GERD, not the 1-2 weeks like I had originally thought. But, I do really feel like we have direction now. We've pretty much decided that he's going to join now, it just makes the most sense financially and in this time of recession, we need to be smart. I'm afraid that if he wanted to go to grad school now and then responsibility of providing a living fell on my shoulders, I'd have a hard time getting a decent job, since I'm having that problem right now.

As of right now I've officially applied for 4 jobs and haven't heard anything back on any of them. I really expected the PSR job in Preston to be no problem, but I sent a follow up email on Monday and have yet to hear anything :( It's frustrating, especially since we really need to get Kolt his own place. Our roommate just decided to buy a lovely new puppy, a puppy who apparently NEVER stops barking when it's alone. This equals bad news for Kolt when he has to sleep during the day after a grave yard shift. I really need to have a job in order to pay the increased cost of rent for our own place down there. It's all pretty frustrating, but what can I do?

But over all I am much happier now than I have been in a while. Kolt and I just got through redecorating our bedroom with our own bedding. We took down all of the knick knacks and fake flowers that made the room feel kind of stuffy and will put up our own pictures and decor to really make it feel like OUR room. I also convinced my mom to redecorate our bathroom and I love it. I should take some pictures I suppose and up load them, maybe later lol.

I finally feel like our lives have direction and purpose again. I'm 95% sure that we'll know what's happening before May is over, then we'll have the summer to play and enjoy, and then start a new adventure. It just feels so right, I'm so excited to be an Air Force wife. I really feel like by being in the Air Force first, Kolt will be able to get into any school he wants. I can't even imagine how proud I'll be of him when he gets accepted to more than one top 5 school!

The only dark cloud in the air right now is the anniversary of our first miscarriage is rapidly approaching. We plan on going to the grave site and visiting the baby, but I know it's going to be so hard. Thankfully, my best friend is going to come out and visit me to help me through this hard time. I know I'll get through it just like everything else, but it's definitely not going to be easy.

Air Force Update

Kolt has his appointment with the allergist yesterday, and he cleared him! He said that the reactions he had are normal in children and young adults and his swelling does not mean he has an allergy. So we're all clear! Well, the surgeon general still has to approve his GERD but that really is not a problem at all.

So at this point all he really has left to do (I think) is the Chief Nurse interview. AND, it sounds like he really is leaning towards joining now instead of after graduate school. Which I completely and totally agree with. It's not 100% decided, I think it will largely depend on when they want him to start. He really wants his summer and so if they will let him go to training in October, I think he's sold. If not, he'll REALLY have to think it through. The officer training is in Alabama and he refuses to go in the summer. He thinks he'll die of heat stroke. (Big baby, haha).

This is all very good news much the contradiction of what our families would say. We really want this to work out. It will allow him to go to graduate school entirely debt free, AND it will allow him to make his full salary while in school without having to work. This means that we can start to try and have a baby again sooner than later. Like maybe in the fall once we're moved and settled :)

I'll keep you posted as to how this progresses. We should know in a week or two how the GERD things plays out and we've contacted the recruiter as to what our next steps are. It's finally starting to look like there may be a light at this very long tunnel that is the directionless future of our lives right now.

As for me, I have applied for 3 different jobs. One is an admissions recruiter for USU, one is a psycho-social rehabiliationist (this is the one I really want because it's in town) and the third and a housing coordinator/caseworker for women and children who are victims of abuse. All would be very cool, 2/3 pay really well, but the only one I've heard back from is the PSR job in Preston. They are going through a credentialing process right now and aren't looking to hire for a couple of weeks, which is just fine with me. I've been offered this job once before right out of college, so I am hoping that as long as they're hiring, I should be an excellent candidate. I really would like a good job to boost up my resume before we move, whether it be for grad school or the military. If anything good comes up, I'll post it.

Appointment Set

Ok, so good news. Kolt has his appointment with the allergist set for April 8th. It just happens to be a day he has off so he can go and we don't have to reschedule. Apparently getting these things set up can be quite hard so we are very fortunate to have it so quickly and on a day he can go! I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen when he meets with him, but I'm hoping we'll at least know what his recommendation to the Surgeon General will be.

Kolt left for work today so I'm sure this will be a week of more random blogs due to my boredom. Hopefully I'll have a job interview to tell you all about :)

Air Force Update

So today Sgt. Bursee got back to us and said that the immediate medical officer won't approve Kolt and he's turning it over to the Air Force Surgeon General and that they want him to see an allergist. The allergist part is good news because all they have to go off of is the ER medical records and it makes it sound much worse than it is. If Kolt can actually sit down with a specialist and explain what happens, then we hope that they'll understand it's not as dire as it sounds and put him through.

At this point we don't know when he'll go in and see the allergist but I would guess it'd be in the next month or so. Please keep your fingers crossed for us, if we can know that the USAF will pay for school for Kolt, our lives will be SO much more relaxed and easier. I'll keep you all posted as soon as we know more.

Stuck

I'm sure some of you have wondered if I've fallen off the face of the Earth. Well the answer is no, I just really haven't had anything fun or new to write about. But I've figured since it's been SO long since I've written, that maybe this situation we're stuck in is in and of itself something to write about.

So Kolt and I have decided that it really is time we change some things. Not that we don't love living with my parents, but it's so hard not having our own place. The only problem with this is there is no place to rent in Preston. We've looked in the papers, we've driven around everywhere and as far as we can see there just isn't anything. So this means we would need to buy something. We've found an absolutely amazing house in Cub River just south of town. It's practically our flippin' dream house. It's almost 5000 sq ft, 5 bed, 5 bath, mother in law apartment so it has two kitchens and two dens. It's gorgeous, at least from the pics, and it's SO stinkin' cheap it's unreal. We figure it is so under priced that it is a huge investment opportunity. We realize it may take five or ten years, but that's ok, because the return would be huge. They've come down over $150,000 in price. However, in order for us to be able to afford it, or any decent house for that matter, I need a job. I've been looking and looking for a job, and I probably could get some B.S. job that pays $7 or $8 an hour, but I didn't go to college to work at a gas station, you know? Plus it really doesn't make enough to cover what we would need anyways. I want something that I can really get into and work my heart out for. Something I can be proud to say I do. Is that so wrong?

So for now we're just stuck. We've looked at maybe moving farther north, even though we really don't want to. There are a lot of great jobs for me in the Idaho Falls area, but nothing for Kolt. I never thought I'd see the day when an RN would have a hard time finding a decent job. So what it amounts to is where there are jobs for me, there are none for Kolt and where there are jobs for Kolt there are none for me. What are we supposed to do???? For now all I know to do is look online everyday for a job, I've asked my mother-in-law for help to see if she could call in a favor on my behalf since she used to work here in the field I'm interested in, and just hope that something pans out for us.

I think we can both feel the tension of the situation we're in, not having our own things or our own place, not being able to have our cars in a garage, just the little things that we were used to that we don't have anymore. We were very independent at such a young age, and it feels like we've taken a huge step back. That combined with having no clue what our future holds at the moment is just really starting to wear us down. Kolt has submitted his petition for his health issues to the higher up medical authorities in the Air Force and we are just waiting for them to let us know if they'll accept him or not. I'm beginning to think that maybe at this point he should just sign on for three years and start into the Air Force now, then go to grad school like we had originally planned. I haven't mentioned this to him and I don't think he'll agree, but at least it gets us moving forward in our lives. I'm just so tired of being stuck, unable to move forward or back, not progressing, just hovering in this land of no opportunity. I hope to sometime soon have some good news to tell you all!

First Run Down

So today I finally restarted my old running program, the Couch to 5k. It's designed for people who don't run and guides through 9 weeks of running so that at the end you can run a 5k with ease. In the beginning it starts off with short walk/jog intervals and works your way up to just jogging. I decided that since I have been running some recently I would start on week 4. I pushed myself really hard since it was just shorter intervals, but it was still a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I'm just a really slow runner, even when I've been training for a while I run at about a 5.5 mph pace, I would love to run at 6 or 7 mph but I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get there. All that really matters is that I can do it, the speed is just a bonus. I did most of the intervals at a 6mph pace and it really kicked my butt! I think on the next run I'll start off slower and get faster through out, rather than going so hard right from the start.

I have begun to look for races that I can participate in and Utah has a great website for this, so I can pretty much run every weekend if I wanted to. I think I'll try and do about two a month is all and that will depend on our plans and what not, but for now that's my goal. I haven't picked my first race yet, but soon I'll select one for the end of April.

I found out today that Mesa Falls, ID has a marathon every year (it's very close to Kolt's parent's house and it's gorgeous there). This year it's August 22nd and I'm trying to decide if I'll be ready for a half marathon by then. I'm not sure but I think that's good timing for it, almost 6 months from now. It's a great goal to work towards, plus it won't be that hot then up there, which is part of what scares me from running this summer. I don't want to get heat stroke! (I have before, not while running, but it was awful). But I suppose they hold the races early in the morning and plenty of people get out there and run in the middle of July and do just fine. I won't let it keep me from doing what I want.

I'm just so excited at the thought of actually being able to run 13.1 miles without stopping. How incredible would that be!??!?! At my current pace it would take me about 2.5 hours which is INSANE to me. I really do think if I work hard I can do it though! I'll be more than happy to keep everyone updated on my progress. Even if you don't care so much it's really exciting to me! lol

The Phoenix

Well, it seems the time has come for me to go on a path of self discovery and renewal. I've come to the realization that at 25, I'm still not quite sure who I really am. I've been so lost ever since I lost my babies and I've decided that it's time I stopped wallowing in my misery and pick myself up and move on. I've been afraid it would be disrespectful to them if I just forgot about them and went on with my everyday life, but in trying to hold on to their memories I've slowly been descending down a path of internal self destruction. So after a nice (well maybe not so nice) long talk with Kolt last night, I've decided that I'm finally ready to let them go and move on with the rest of my life.

The happiest I've been since I lost the first one was when I was running and I'm ready to completely throw myself back into it. Before I was using a program called Couch-to-5k and it was amazing. It's a nine week program invented for people who don't run, but want to. I am by no means a distance runner but I can't believe what an accomplishment it would be to run a 10k or a half marathon! So I will re-start the program tomorrow. I don't think I want to start all the way back at the beginning, because I have been running the last month, but I do want to utilize the program to build me up to 5k ability. Then once I'm able to run 5k with no problems, then I'll move on the the next phase, preparing for a 10k. My goal is by the end of the summer to run a 10k, maybe even a half marathon. I need to start looking for races now and sign up for them as soon as I can so I have a deadline to be ready by.

I want to thank all of my friends who have stood by me through the last year. It's been the hardest of my life and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. But it's time I put it into perspective and realize that I am blessed in so many other ways, and it could be SO much harder. I mean, the very fact that we sold our house for the price we wanted in about two months is incredible! Kolt has a good job and even if he never got into graduate school it would be sufficient for our needs and we would never have to worry about him being out of work. Kolt and I have been given a very unique opportunity to spend so much time together, many couples would kill for a tenth of the time we get alone. I need to try and remember the things I do have and stop crying over the things I don't. It won't change what's been done and I'm finally ready to put it behind me and try and become a better person, a better wife, a better friend, a better sister and daughter. It's not going to be easy, but I know it will be worth all the pain in the end. I'm ready to submit the fire of the phoenix and let the past burn behind me and emerge a stronger woman.

PICS PICS PICS!!!!!!!!!

Ok so most of these pictures are of our hotel room, hanging out in front of the Bellagio, Kolt go-cart racing, glow in the dark mini golfiing. It was all just SO much fun. We can't wait to do it again. Sometimes it's nice just to be able to get away!

Pics to come soon

Just wanted to pop on really quick and tell everyone what an AMAZING time Kolt and I had in Las Vegas. Hanging out with my friend was SO much fun and Kolt and her husband got along really well...so it was just a great time. We have some pics to post but I'll do that later...I promise.

We got an amazing upgrade on our room, I also have pics and a video of it to put up. It was more like a VERY posh apartment than a hotel room. The bathroom alone was as big as some hotel rooms it seemed.

The only negative part of the trip was when Kolt got food poisoning. The last night we were there we wandered around the Venetian too long and by the time we got out and were ready to eat most every place was closed because it was a Monday night. So we ate the this burger joint on the outside of the mall by our hotel and apparently his burger wasn't cooked properly or left out too long during the day and he got sicker than a dog during the night. He's recovered now and thankfully it was worse than it was, but it still put a bit of a damper on the trip. So the moral of the story is DON'T EAT AT STRIP BURGER!!!!!!!

Ok, that's all for now. Pics to come next.

Before we go...just an update

Kolt and I are headed down to Salt Lake for the first leg of our journey to Las Vegas tomorrow, so I thought I'd just pop in for a minute and do a brief update. Not that my life is all that interesting that I need to update once a week, but still...I like blogging :)

My mom is home and well, and recovering. She's lost a LOT of weight, down 12 lbs in two weeks (and for those of you who've never met her she's a skinny minnie as it is) so she looks really frail and fragile, but we're working on that. She's walking a little on the treadmill everyday, she did .5 miles today, and seemed quite proud of herself. She's down a lot on her pain medications too...so overall she's doing well. Well enough to watch our dogs while we leave this weekend which we all know is no small task with the rascals that they are!

I got to work 4 days this last week while I was in Salt Lake and it reminded me just how happy I am that I don't work there full time anymore. It's just busy and stressful and I don't need that in my life right now. Once a month is perfectly fine, people always seem thrilled that I'm there and it makes me feel appreciated!

Other than that, not much else is going on. Oh, I guess I got my hair colored and it's pretty bold for me. There's like 4 different colors in it, it's sassy and I like it! I'll put up pics once we get back from Vegas that will show it off nicely! I'm so excited to finally get to meet the woman I consider my 2nd best friend. Sounds silly that I've never met her, but I love her to death and I know we'll be life long friends and this is just the first of many times we'll get together!

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy love day everyone! I hope the day finds you all pampered and feeling adored :) We don't have any big plans because we're headed down to Vegas next weekend, but last night I got us Texas Roadhouse for dinner to celebrate. I called in the order and got take out because I knew we wouldn't have time go anywhere and MAN let me tell you that was the thing to do! When I went in I heard it was at least a 65 minute wait and there were like 50 or so people standing around waiting. CRAZY!!! I just walked right in, paid, and left! Hahaha, suckers, lol.

So today I am working and Kolt is working and it's not much of a holiday but that's ok because it will all be worth it when we're celebrating in our 5 star hotel in Vegas next weekend. The only bad thing is I looked at the weather forecast and it says it might rain Sunday and Monday! I hope that changes.

My mom is home now and doing well from what my sister tells me. She even at a piece of cheese toast yesterday, woohoo! She plans on getting on the treadmill and walking, very slowly, to try and get her strength back. She's coughing some from the pneumonia, but over all much better and happy to be home.

I suppose that's all for now. Have a wonderful day everyone!

Vegas Baby!!!

It's been a few days, well almost like a week I think, since I posted last. So here are some updates...

First of all, my mom was supposed to come home today, but she's not. This makes 10 days she's been in the hospital and almost 1 week post op. The surgeon is supposed to look at her tomorrow and hopefully he'll have some good news, but we just don't know. She's finally started to eat a little bit, some broth and a popsicle I think. Tomorrow I should know more and I pray it's good news :)

Secondly, Kolt and I are going to Vegas on the 21st!!!!! WoHoo!!!! We were planning on going to the Anniversary Inn for Valentine's Day, like I stated in a previous post, but when I realized that Kolt had off the days one of my very best friends is getting married in Vegas, then I had to ask if we could go. So... we're staying in the 5 star Trump tower for practically nothing. It's a great time to travel since everything is so cheap in an effort to try and get people to spend money! It worked for us. We're both so excited to go down and stay in such a nice place, but mostly I'm really excited to meet my friend. We've been friends for a year but met online and haven't gotten to meet face to face yet. She and I have SO much in common and I'm stoked to actually get to spend some time with her.

Well, I think that's it for now. I hope everyone has a lovely Valentine's Day.

Got a lot on my mind and can't sleep

Ok, so some of you may know and some of you may not, so I'll just tell the whole story to get all the details out there. My mom had surgery yesterday, she had been in the hospital in Preston for 3.5 days with the initial complaint of severe abdominal pain. For the first few days they took x-rays and catscans but still seemed really unable to make an official diagnosis. The surgeon came in and looked at her Thursday night after her doctor had made the decision to have surgery on what he thought was on obstruction in her bowel. The surgeon said he disagreed and thought maybe it was just a virus that had caused her intestines to stop working and put a huge tube down her nose into her stomach to suck out the fluids. He said this would give her bowel a chance to relax and hopefully start working on its' own. Friday morning they run x-rays and another catscan and decide that there is an obstruction and took her into surgery.

They removed 19.5 inches of dead bowel from her small intestine. They figure what happened is come scar tissue formed around her intestine and began to cut off blood flow to it. It was a good thing they finally realized this and took it out because the intestines can burst in situations like these if neglected for too long.

She will be in the hospital at least 3-4 more days. She has also developed pneumonia while she's been in there and is being treated for that as well. Between the pneumonia and her 5-6 inch incision on her belly, she has some recovering to do.

The prognosis looks great and she should recover just fine, she's just in a fair amount of pain now, but has a morphine pump to help with that.

It's hard not to be frustrated with the small town hospital and doctors, but it seems like they finally figured it out and treated her properly and like I said she should be just fine. It's just hard not to wonder if they could have figured this out a few days sooner at a bigger facility with specialists and better diagnosing equipment. But it's done and hopefully, she'll be just fine.

Thank you to all of you who have asked about her well being. She's not much up to visitors or phone calls so my family and I are doing the best we can to make sure everyone is properly informed on her status.

Hallelujah!!

So Kolt called me tonight and said a few of his friends invited him to go hiking up Spanish Fork Canyon on Wednesday up to some hot springs. He asked if I wanted to drive down and go too! So now I'm headed down tomorrow to see him and go hiking on Wednesday!!! I'm so excited. I get to see him a whole day sooner than I thought, plus we get to go do something fun! And on top of that, his unit is virtually empty so he may not have to work at all on Tuesday night which means we can just be together :) Not that I wouldn't love to sleep in MY bed all alone for once, but I'll take being with him any day of the week over that. Yay!!!

Kolt must have the camera so I haven't been able to upload our skiing pics. Hopefully we can take pics of this trip too and post them when we get back :)

The only thing I'm nervous about is having to get into a stinking bathing suit. I'm not ready for that yet, by a long shot! Hopefully no one will be overly disgusted with my less than perfect body now. We'll have to do it again this summer once I'm nice and in shape and smokin' hot!

This week really has flown by and was much easier to deal with than last time. The next time we'll be apart again isn't for like 3 weeks now!

Feelin' Good

What did I tell ya? Kolt's gone and out come the random blogs. I really don't have much else to do, and it's a nice way to pass the time.

So today both my mom and dad were working and I've been able to spend the majority of the day alone, and it's been rather nice. I got on the treadmill today and ran 5k!!!!!!! That's 3.1 miles without stopping at all. I wish I had gone faster or could have gone faster I guess, but I'm just so proud of myself. 35 minutes of running without stopping to walk, that's impressive in my mind. Before I had my second miscarriage I was training for a 5k. I thought it would be a really great feeling to run a race and finish it, my eventual goal was to do a half marathon, but it was all interrupted when I lost the baby. Right after that we sold the house and had to pack and move and blah blah blah and I just never got started up again. Now that my mom and dad have a very nice treadmill right down stairs, it makes it SO easy to just hop on and go. I know that it's not the same thing as running outside, but it's a good start and a great workout. I'm hoping this summer to enter some races and do 5 maybe even 10k!

Kolt and I are beginning to make plans for valentine's day and I'm getting really excited. We're going to go down to Logan and stay in the Anniversary Inn I think, although I am now considering staying in the Sherwood Hills Resort, but haven't asked Kolt yet what he thinks. We were planning on going up there to go XC skiing anyway and I figured we may as well just stay there, we'll see. Either way it's going to be a blast and really good to get some alone time together. While it is so nice being able to pay so little in rent by living with other people, sometimes it's good to be alone and we're both really looking forward to it.

This weekend I'm going up to my sister's house to watch the super bowl, it should be a fun party. I haven't been to a super bowl party in years because we always worked the weekends. I'm bummed and Kolt's really bummed that he can't be there, but since we really don't care about either team, it's more about a social gathering than the actual game. There will be lots of good food there and I'm going to have to either work out really hard the day before and the day after, or resist a lot of the yummy goodness that is sure to be there!

He left...again, dangit!

I promise I will upload XC skiing pics sometime in the next few days! I just have to figure out how to do it with our new camera.

Kolt just left again so expect some random and possible sad blogs while he's gone, lol. It's what I do. I sit, an reflect, and sometimes that makes me sad.

On a good note, I've lost 7 lbs in the last couple of weeks. I'm hoping now that Kolt's gone again I can lose 2-5 more while he's gone. It's so much easier to exercise and eat well when I don't have to worry about feeding him and wanting to spend all my time with him.

I've had a rough couple of days emotionally. A few things have triggered some sadness over the miscarriages again and it's just been really hard. I also kind of got into an argument with some women I know online and I've just been a mess. Add that to Kolt leaving and needless to say I've been crying a lot the last few days. I just really wish I could have perfect faith to know that it happened for a reason and I'm a better person for it, but I can't. Some days I can accept it and feel like I have my whole life ahead of me, and some days I can't and feel like it's crashing down. I just really thought that by now, this far out from it, I would be totally ok, but I'm not and I really don't think I'll ever be, completely anyways. Someday I hope to look back at this time and this experience and know that I grew and learned from it, but I really do feel like that day is far off.

I just need to refocus on my goals and let this go I suppose. I always feel better after I run, maybe I should just go do that!