Feeling Grateful

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. I really feel like I haven't had a whole lot to say. As far as we know Kolt's application will go in for review on Monday (July 20th) and we should hear back as soon as next Friday, the 24th. I promise as soon as we know where we are going there will be a big post in all caps with as many details as I can provide!

I've been doing exceptionally well with my running and weight loss. I retook on the challenge the 28th of June and am almost down 10 lbs. I've been running almost everyday and am up to 2.5 miles already!!!! That 5k isn't feeling so out of reach anymore and I am so proud of myself. I've just set my mind to it and I'm doing it. I figured that being over weight in my case is a choice that I alone have made and that I alone have continued to perpetuate and I'm over it. Food is food and while it can be SO good, it does nothing for me. It doesn't hug me back when I've had a bad day, it doesn't listen to my problems, it doesn't provide anything but momentary distraction and satisfaction that has in turn continued to lower my confidence and self esteem through out the years. My goal is to be down 40lbs by the time we move to wherever we're going, around the 20th of November. If more then great but that's my goal. I've really been pushing myself with the running and went out of my comfort zone and found a place to run in Salt Lake while I was down there working and had to go after work in the heat of the day at 4pm. I NEVER would have done that in the past, but nothing will stop me now. I need to sign up for a stinking race but I just haven't done it yet. But race or no race, I'm running as long as my body will allow me to.

All this being said and going back to the title of this post, I am feeling extremely grateful at this time in my life. There's a lot going on around me that I'm not directly apart of, but that I see and it just makes me realize how good Kolt and I really have it. I was recently insulted by someone I won't mention, but this person said something like this "Now I know why God doesn't want that crazy cracker jack psychology COW to have any children." And she also made another comment about me that commented on my "SIZE." This person is a pathetic piece of crap who has absolutely NOTHING going good for her in her life and felt the need to lash out at me to make herself and her laughable excuse of a life look better. I'll admit, I felt the rage go through my veins like nothing you could imagine. In fact, I vowed (much in the way of my father) that the next time I saw that %$%$&%*$ that I would put a dent in her forehead, particularly for the comment that God doesn't want to have children and that's why I keep losing them. As if that line of reasoning makes sense. Like he wants crack whores and 12 year old girls to have them? Please. But I went for a run and clarity reached me and the peace came. I have the most amazing life (well maybe not in the cool sense, at least not yet, but soon!) and I really can't ask for anything more than I have. An amazing husband who's loved me through thick and thin, quite literally, a good job that has allowed me the flexibility to work whenever I want this past 9 months, Kolt has a steady and good paying job with complete job security, I have an incredible family who loves me no matter what and who I know will be there every step of my life to pitch in and provide support any time I need it, and we're about to embark on a fantastic journey to God only knows where and to places that most people only dream about. We have complete financial security and tons of toys and more time than most couples could ever imagine having together. What more could I ask for? A child, yes, but at this point in my life I'm simply not ready for one. How many people can say that they have all of those things? That the truly want for nothing and are totally happy with their lives and at peace with themselves? I doubt very many. I really just have it so good, that I'm not going to let what some ignorant, selfish, self absorbed, psychotic, immature brat bring me down. It's not worth the energy to be upset or angry about it. So I won't, and instead will continue to reflect on the wonderfulness that is my life and I will continue to strive to meet my goals and I WILL accomplish them.