Ug.

I'm doing something tonight I swore I would never do, I'm letting Leila "cry it out." I would have never thought it would come to this and I know many people who will think I'm a horrible mother for doing this, but it really has come down to nothing else has worked. Her sleep has deteriorated such that after her 2nd night waking (around 1-2 am) she won't go back to sleep in her own bed, she cries if she does. She nurses every 45-60 minutes after she gets in bed with me and wakes up around 4 am just talking and ready to get on with the day. I haven't gotten more than 2-3 hours of sleep at once in I don't know how long. She's screaming right now as I right this and I feel like shit. I hope she'll forgive me.

On a different note, Halloween was a blast. She was such a cute little cookie monster and loved trick or treating and held on to her pumpkin all night long. I have so cute pictures....but they're all on my phone, I'll have to see if I can get them uploaded.

Kolt is doing well. We're down to 2 months to go. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. October just flew by and I'm hoping November does too. I still have no clue how exactly I'm getting back to Texas. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can get it narrowed down and someone will drive with me. I could drive alone, but I'd rather not. My mother in law has graciously offered to fly down with Leila so she can avoid that awful, long journey.

I may blog a few more times tonight to get me through, hearing her cry is ripping at my heart.